June 27, 2011

Chris Brown/BET Awards RANT

Ok, I am really freakin' pissed! Hours after the Production wrapped up at the BET Awards, I began to scour the web, reading articles and blogs about the show. For the most part I am HIGHLY disappointed and disgusted.

I am no BET fan, trust me, but there's so much negativity surrounding it, the negativity that was not being displayed after the Tony's, Emmy's, or Country Music Awards, just to name a few. I know BET really isn't very up to par with those awards shows but still...The worst MTV music awards show didn't get this much negativity.

One article in particular really just pissed me off, I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. A Yahoo! writer said everything negative that could be said about the show, nothing at all positive. I admit, the show was lame at times but what awards show doesn't have it's own gaffes?

I REALLY wish BET was a better network, I'd stand behind it wholeheartedly, but I just can't stand behind fuckery, I can't. I wish to support my own people in pursuit of positive endeavors, but day by day I only see BET seeping down the drainage. The whole concept should be revamped and Debra Lee needs to be fired.

Next topic: Chris Brown.

I am soooooo tired of people talking about how Chris Brown hit a woman, he should die, he doesn't deserve anything, blah, blah, blah. Prior to the Rihanna situation, I liked Chris Brown but I wasn't a die-hard fan. No matter what his celebrity status is, he's still a perfectly flawed human. I HATE that people hate him and don't know him or the entire situation that he was in regarding Rihanna. Lots of people are nagging at BET because he won the most awards at the show last night. People are saying that he doesn't deserve any awards because of his personal life. He won awards based on his talent, not his personal life. I love the new Chris Brown era, he's so talented and his music is the best yet.

It hurts my heart to see anyone constantly criticized no matter what they may do to make it right and this Chris Brown fiasco is still way out of hand. They act as if he murdered Rihanna and threw her body into a muddy ditch. There's two sides to EVERY story and 98% of the media's story was based on Rihanna's account and that one infamous picture after the dispute. I'm not being biased, I'm being honest. I felt for Rihanna, after the incident and she's been apologized to and repaid IN MILLIONS (Everything Rihanna has spiked since she was the victim, while Chris' caareer suffered). I pray that people just let this go. We're all flawed, we all have our faults, we may not hit people out of anger but we're all sinners. No one is pure in this world.

I really feel sympathy for Chris Brown. Just imagine being in the public eye all your life and no matter what you do, you're still scrutinized in every way. It's like being in school, you put your all into your work and every time you get your work back, there's a big fat "F" on it. Even though you put your blood, sweat, and tears into it. It makes me ad just thinking about it. Imagine how that feels times one hundred.

Leave Chris Brown alone. =I

June 25, 2011

Archive: The Day Michael Jackson Died

Ok, so I REALLY had to dig to find this one. *blows off dust*. When I was over on Myspace, I had this thing on my profile called "Thought of the Moment" or TOTM. It was a special section on my page dedicated for me to blog and post random stuff.

After my previous blog post, I remember posting something about Michael Jackson's death on my page the day he died and this is exactly it! My feelings, thoughts, emotions, everything at the moment is right here. I love reading stuff that was written years ago...Here it is:

Sorry it took me a while to update my page. I've been a lil busy bee lately. Anyway, my TOTM is about Michael Joseph Jackson. Pop legend that passed away a day after my birthday. I'll never forget it. Something told me that something big had happened in the world. You know like an intuition. I watched a few minutes of the news then got up and went to my computer. As soon as I got on MSN I saw that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital. At first I just blew it off because I thought it was something minor that the press was being melodramatic about. A few minutes later I saw on Yahoo! that he had a cardiac arrest. I was like OMG because people who have a cardiac arrest usually don't survive unless they get attention within 2-3 minutes. So then I went on my favorite gossip site (The YBF) and it said he was in terrible condition. I still thought he'd live though. I refreshed the page less than 10 minutes later and I couldn't believe the words "Michael Jackson dead at age 50." I kept scrambling through all the credible news sites that I knew and it said the same thing on all of them. I was shocked, totally. I was a fan. I had his Thriller album plus some on my iPod and I loved it even though it was before my time, that's how great his music was. It didn't really hit me until about 2 days after he died I was listening to "Lady In My Life" and he said "And baby through the years, even when we're old and gray" I just started crying. He didn't even get a chance to be be old and gray. Watching all the videos of him just touched my heart, so many people loved him and now he's gone...There will NEVER be another. I couldn't listen to any of his songs without crying until after the BET awards (Which I wasn't very satisfied with). I kind of felt like it was closure, like a funeral and it made me feel better. What makes me mad about this whole situation ? Joe Jackson trying to promote himself (The day after MJ died Joe was smiling and laughing with the paparazzi), People are more concerned about the drama than the actual death of MJ (Trying to figure out how much money he had, how much debt he was in, how big of a custody fight there will be, etc.), and people saying "Oh I'm glad that child molester in dead!" (STFU. He was acquitted on all charges and even then we have no right to judge him. Only God can. No one will know the truth of the matter because people are dishonest especially for money). STOP THE MADNESS, PLEASE!


Michael Jackson: Top 10 Favorite songs.

Michael Jackson has always been apart of my life. I remember being 3 years old, sitting in my booster seat in my dad's '83 Mercury Marquis. My parents were a young couple starting from the ground up, so my dad's car didn't have A/C, the lining on the ceiling was torn and pinned up with thumb tacks, and the leather seats were cracked and wrinkled all over showing the car's age. In order to roll down the windows, my dad had to pull them down by hand and every time you opened or closed the door it made a screeching creaking sound that could be heard from at least 10 feet away, it was just that worn down. Every time I went riding with my dad, he'd pull all the windows down and blast his music. I specifically remember one of his favorite songs being "P.Y.T" by Michael Jackson. Oh, he played that song until the cassette wore out. His Michael Jackson cassette was the newest thing in the entire car. At three years old, I knew all the lyrics to P.Y.T. and I thought my daddy was the coolest man ever because of that song.

His next favorite song was "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson. When I was a child, I hated that song. It was too slow and boring for me. At that age, I didn't understand the concept of a song having a meaning or purpose, I just liked the beat and rhythm. I'd always beg my dad to fast forward the tape when it came on.

Now that I'm older and wiser, I have my own favorite Michael Jackson songs. Initially, I wasn't an avid Michael Jackson fan. When I grew up, kids my age weren't listening to MJ, they were more into the whole rap and hip hop movement (This was in the mid-90's). So I tried to get into rap, but my mom didn't allow me and my brother to listen to rap because of the lyrics. Back then, I thought she was so lame for not letting us listen to rap, but now I'm kind of glad she did. I was exposed to a lot of R & B, including Michael Jackson and over the years he sort of grew on me. I never told my friends that I liked Michael Jackson, then I thought I'd be the lame one.

Now, I have a plethora of Michael Jackson songs on my iPod and I'm definitely not afraid to admit that I am a fan! I didn't discover my favorites until he died actually. After his death, I listened to all his songs on my iPod (I don't have every single song by him) in one night. I didn't sleep that whole night, I just listened. Some songs moved me, I cried, I laughed, I reminisced, and that's how I came up with my favorites. I don't know, I knew his songs but I didn't listen to them like I should have. Odd.

Anywho, here's my top 10 list:

1. Lady In My Life
2. Human Nature
3. The Way You Make Me Feel
4. Earth Song
5. Never Can Say Goodbye (w/ Jackson 5)
6. Thriller and They Don't Really Care About Us (tie)
7. Rock With You
8. Man In The Mirror
9. Off The Wall
10.I'll Be There (w/ Jackson 5)

Now, I could explain why I chose the ones I did, and why they're so special to me, but that would definitely be a 10 page essay in itself. Maybe later though!

I'll always remember Michael Jackson's untimely death, it happened the day after my 18th birthday. Tsk, tsk.

RIP Michael J. Jackson :)

June 22, 2011

Can I Just...

...Fall in love for a moment?
I've been on this planet for nearly two decades and I've never been 'in love'.
Love doesn't make life better or easier, I know...
My life isn't bad or hard anyway.
But still I want to experience the heart fluttering, the butterflies,
Just THAT feeling.

And yes, I have adequate love from home. I have amazing love from my parents and family, but a parent's love is different from a significant other's love.

I know God is going to bring someone great into my life.
But when?
It's like standing in a desert, looking up at the sky, with your hands in the air,
waiting for rain.

I want that movie scene.
That scene where that guy who you've known since elementary school,
confesses his love for the girl and a romantic, upbeat, swanky instrumental
plays and life is just, magical.

God knows the kind of relationship I want and need, and I know he's 'Googling' through all the men in the world, and when I fall in love, he'll be the most perfect person who wants the same things I do.

Patience is a virtue...That I wish I had more of.

June 17, 2011

The Most Beautiful Picture Ever

From Yahoo! and Getty Images

I saw this picture yesterday, and it is the best picture I've seen in a long time! This picture was taken a few days ago during the riots in Vancouver, Canada. The riots started after The Canucks (A Canadian hockey team) lost against an American hockey team. Hockey is like American Professional Football, Baseball, and Basketball in one. It's the biggest professional sport in Canada.

This picture was taken as police raced to stopped rioting and fires among other things. As police raced to save lives and stop violence, media photographers took photos of the historic events. One photographer spotted these two people in the middle of the action, kissing. You can imagine the shock value of such an image. Glass breaking, fires erupting, screaming obscenities, and a couple kissing, displaying love and affection? It just doesn't fit.

Turns out, the photo was actually mistaken. You see, the girl lying on the ground was injured somehow during the riots and her boyfriend came over to help her and gave her a small comforting peck on the lips. Although it looks like a long, steamy, passionate kiss in the midst of animosity, it was only a peck.

Overall, I LOVE this picture. Even if it wasn't meant to be taken in such a way, it speaks volumes to me. It can be interpreted in so many ways. When I first saw it, it just made me think how love over powers everything. There's a lot going on in the picture but those two people just captivate you. I would've loved to see this live (not under the rioting circumstances, but you know). Love just makes everything seem lighter, lovelier. This looks like a scene from a movie, but it's real life which makes it that much more special in my opinion! :)

June 14, 2011

Lightning Bolt Earrings - For Sale

Hello all!

This morning I sold my first pair of lightning bolt earrings so I've decided to sell them to everyone. Pictures are below! I have pink and yellow BUT if you'd like a different color please request it. These are handmade by me and can be customized. I can also do two different colors per pair (Ex. One earring pink, one blue).

For a regular, one color pair: $5.00
For other customized pairs: $7.00

This is a STEAL! Designer Melody Ehsani first created these earrings and a pair of her lightning bolt earrings costs over $60.

**Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Melody Ehsani. These are a replica of her earrings. If you wish to buy the real thing, see her website: www.melodyehsani.com

June 13, 2011

Boys and Girls

I was just thinking about someone. He came into my mind somewhat randomly. I know I'm always talking about love, romance, relationships, etc. but that's just my life. Full of love, romance, and STUFF. Never the amazing kind of stuff you see on TV and in movies, nevertheless my life seems to revolve around everything lovely.

I was thinking back to one of my earlier experiences with relationships. I formed my definition/opinion of 'friendship' and 'relationship' with this one situation, I'll never forget.

I was in 5th grade and it was the last week of school before the summer break. We received this little paper packet that was sort of like a memory book. We had to fill it out and at the end there were a couple pages for our friends/classmates to sign, like a yearbook. I signed a few and then I saw my friend Peter (name changed) sitting alone. He was sort of a loner, he was zany, weird, friendly and so smart.

I went over to him and asked him if I could sign his memory packet. He agreed, so I turned to the last page and it was nearly blank besides the signature of a mutual friend. I felt so sorry for John. He was great, and I just didn't know why he didn't make friends. I signed it with a cute message and wrote my number down at the end of the message. He was the only person I gave my number to but everyone else was giving out their number so I decided to give him mine.

Two girls that were in our class saw us sitting together and talking and all of a sudden they came over and grabbed his memory book acting as if they wanted to sign it. John and I knew they were up to no good. Next thing I hear is "Ooooooh Nicollette you like Peter?! Hahaha Nicollette likes Peter." My mouth kind of dropped like what the hell are they talking about? "You gave him your number! Hahaha you like Peter!" After that the whole class stared at me and Peter. My face was hot and I was so embarrassed. I don't even remember Peter's reaction. I did like Peter a lot but only as a friend. Or did I really only like him as a friend? I remember trying to figure out if I really did like Peter as more than a friend because everyone said I did. I know that sounds stupid, but that's what I did! Later that day I talked to him and I didn't get that odd tingly feeling that I got when I talked to the person I had a crush on at that time, so I ruled out "liking him like liking him liking him".

The next day I saw him and we talked like usual but I wanted to have my space...I didn't want people to think I liked him in that way. I think maybe he noticed, and I was really upset that I didn't get to say a proper farewell because we ended up going to different middle schools (we met up again in high school). Up until like my freshman year of high school I thought it was illegal for girls and guys to be just friends. I thought the only reason guys and girls could be friends is if they were seeking some kind of relationship. But I KNOW that's a lie now. Guys and girls can be friends without having an intimate relationship...But in the back of my mind I always replay this memory and I still ask can girls and guys truly be just friends with no strings attached? (rhetorical)

June 8, 2011

How to do a SIMPLE nail design

Hey! I got a few requests to do a video for the nail design I posted on Facebook and here it is! You're going to need to fast forward a little because it's in real time, no editing! It's only 12 minutes though! Here's the video, the steps are below the clip.

1. Apply base coat (NOT a clear polish! If you go nail polish shopping there are polishes called 'base coat').
-Allow to dry 2 minutes

2. Apply white polish
-Allow to dry 2-3 minutes

3. Apply SINFUL COLORS' 24/7 OR your own favorite color.
-Allow to dry 5 minutes or until completely dry.

4. Get out your thin nail paint brush (see video for better explanation)

5. Use SINFUL COLORS' Why Not OR your own favorite darker color. Stripe the nails carefully, make sure to do it in a 'flicking' motion, that helps with creating the zebra stripe. Regular lines makes it rather plain looking.
-Allow the design to dry 10 minutes or so.

6. Apply TOP COAT. Although this was not included in the video it is imperative that you apply a top coat! It seals the design in and prevents chipping. Invest in a good top coast and base coat, they're fundamental to increase the longevity of your nail designs.

Now, you're DONE! Questions, comments, concerns? Send emails and comments. :)

June 5, 2011

The Movie That Made Me Cry [Review]

If you follow me on Twitter, you'd know that I tweeted about a movie that really made me cry this morning. I was literally bawling! It was so good and sweet, and had the elements of a good romantic comedy (I adore romantic comedies).

Although it was a romantic comedy, I took it more serious than anything. Maybe because I could definitely relate. It touched me because I could relate to the girl who played the main character's love interest. I saw me in that movie.

The movie I'm talking about is...

Shallow Hal.

If you've ever seen Shallow Hal the last thing you'd think of is someone crying at the end of it...But I did!

[Spoiler Alert]

Shallow Hal is about a guy who only dates girls that are young, attractive, and sexy. They had to have the perfect face and body in order for him to show even the slightest interest in them. Although he wasn't very cute nor did he have a killer body, he still wanted to date girls who were perfect. His perception of women came from his father, who on his death bed made Hal promise to always date young and sexy women and throughout his lifetime he tried to do just that.

Everything changes when he meets Tony Robins on an elevator. The elevator gets stuck, and while they're stuck there, Hal explains his problems with women. He doesn't get why he can't have a long lasting relationship with a perfect girl. After some talking, Robins suggests to Hal a solution -- Hypnosis. Hal agrees and is hypnotized by Robins to see the inner beauty of people instead of the outward appearance. Once the elevator begins working again Robins and Hal split. Suddenly Hal sees the beauty in all of the people who were once unattractive to him, and most other people, too.

Hal seems to think that now all the young and sexy women want him, but in reality the women who he sees as sexy and perfect are the complete opposite to society. Then he meets Rosemary, a girl he sees walking down the street. To him she's thin, blonde, and sexy while in reality she's really overweight and has a self confidence level in the negatives. Hal calls her beautiful, radiant, attractive, etc. all the words she's never heard before. Rosemary thinks he's being a jerk and making fun of her, but he really sees a beautiful person.

After he convinces her to go out on a date with him, she's still reluctant to believe that he finds her attractive. People stare at her, laugh at her, and chairs break whenever she sits, but he still sees only beauty and can't understand why other people don't see it as well.

After a while they become a couple, then intimate. Hal's friend can't stand to watch him embarrass himself being seen with a girl like Rosemary, so he gets in contact with Tony Robins, again, and makes him De-Hypnotize him. Once he does, Hal sees Rosemary for what she really looks like and she's nothing like she was, appearance-wise. Everyone who he thought was beautiful, wasn't beautiful. Even though he loved Rosemary and thought she had a great personality, he still couldn't seem to get over her appearance. He avoids seeing and talking to her until he can sort out his feelings.

He goes on a date with his neighbor who he had been trying to date for months. Rosemary spot them at a restaurant and is crushed, so crushed that she takes a job with the Peace Corps for 14 months, to get out of town.

Hal finally realizes that he loves Rosemary and can't live without her no matter what she looks like. He loves her for her, and lets her know it. They make up and he vows to never hurt her again.

There's so much more to the story than that, it's just a snippet of the main storyline but there's other characters and things that make it sooo good! I love this movie because being a bigger person, I know what it's like to not believe a guy when he gives me a compliment.

Although most people feel good when they receive compliments, sometimes they can be insulting, especially if you're not what society calls "beautiful". Throughout the movie Rosemary was scared because she couldn't understand why Hal kept calling her beautiful and sexy when [according to society's standards] she wasn't. I'm like that too, which is why I'm afraid of relationships, I turn down a lot of people because of my fear...The fear that the joke will be on me in the end.

I remember like a year or so ago, this guy came to my job and he said, "Wow, you caught my eye from across the room. You're really, really beautiful." I kind of stared at him like ARE YOU FREAKING BLIND? This was when my confidence level was at -100. I thanked him and just wanted him to go away. He kept smiling and talking, eventually asking for my number. I told him no, and that I wasn't looking for a relationship.He looked pretty sad when he walked away, and I felt sorry for him but I just didn't believe that he saw me as beautiful. Thank God, I'm [a lot] more confident than I was, but I still don't think I'm ready for a relationship.

It would be nice if Tony Robins could hypnotize everyone, so that we'd all just see everyone's inner beauty.