July 27, 2011

Sex Before Marriage [Opinion]

I was watching one of my favorite channels on YouTube: SoberMadnessTV and came with the idea to blog about this topic. The channel is owned by a lesbian couple and they post videos about various topics and adventures that that they tackle. Several weeks ago, one of their subscribers asked them what they thought about having sex before marriage. Here's their response:

I actually agree with some of the things that were said. I love this video because they're so honest and open about it and it's always great to listen to other people's opinion.

First off, my parents always told me to wait for marriage. I never got an explanation of why, I was just told wait until after your married, and that's that. When I was a teenager, thinking about sex like every other teenager was I said "Wait, why am I waiting for marriage? Why should I have to wait? Everyone is doing it, but I'm waiting for marriage, just because." I had to do some soul searching. Should I really wait for marriage just because my parents told me to, or should I just do it because it seems so fun and so easy.

I think before you decide if you want to have sex before marriage, you HAVE to know yourself, your heart, your mind, your body, everything. In my teens I learned a lot about myself. I figured out that I was a hopeless romantic. I loved fairy tales and happily ever after endings. I knew every romantic comedy released within the past decade. I figured out that I'm overly emotional, and my feelings are hurt easily. I knew that when I give, I give my all. I could be very insecure with myself but I was not a follower. By the time I was 17, I decided that I HAD to wait for marriage simply because of who I am.

I know in my heart that I will never be able to have such an intimate moment with someone I'm not married to. It's the right thing for me. As stated above in the video, it really depends on the person. I can't be intimate with someone who I'm not already in love with. I just picture myself in that after glow stage, and the guy that I'm with rolling over, turning his back to me and saying "Good job, thanks". I'm such an emotional person, a situation like that would kill me, I know it would. Having sex before falling in love is backwards to me. Like I said, when I give, I give my all. What if I put my all into this relationship, being intimate with this person and whatnot and in the end he still doesn't love me? It's like working and not sure if you're going to get paid at the end of the week.

In the video one of the girls said that a relationship won't last unless both people are 'sexually compatible'. While I think this is absurd, I know that LOTS of people think like this, in fact most people my age probably think this way and it scares me. Because I'm not having sex before marriage, I won't find a good loving relationship with someone? I think if you truly love someone for their personality and you accept what they look like, then why can't you wait until marriage to have sex? I just want to find that one man who agrees with me and sees things the way I see them. Regular people without these beliefs have a hard time finding a soul mate, just imagine how hard it's going to be for me...

I also feel that if you give your all in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, what's to look forward to in marriage? I'm not saying people should get married just to have sex, but if you get everything in the standard package, why would you need to upgrade to the premium package?

So, anywho it really depends on the person when it comes to sex before marriage. If you're a person who's not easily attached to someone and can deal with the fact that the person you're sleeping with may not love you in return, then maybe sex before marriage is your thing...But no one likes heartbreak. I'm glad my parents told me to wait before marriage. Inadvertently, they made me figure it for myself. They never told me to wait for marriage because it's in the bible and if you have sex before marriage you're Satan's child, or anything like that. My belief in God and the Bible also plays a part in why I'm not having sex before marriage, but knowing myself is what made me stand firm on waiting until marriage. There are TONS of Christians that believe in God and the Bible and still have sex before marriage, so sometimes that's not always enough.

If you don't know yourself and you don't know why you're waiting for marriage, it's going to be easy for someone to come along and persuade you to change your mind because you're going to be like I was "I don't know why I'm waiting...And since everyone else is doing it and it looks fun and easy, why not?". Then you may regret doing it. So, know yourself, your mind, your heart, your body, and everything will fall into place. With that being said, I don't think anyone between the ages of 13-16 should be sexually active, no one knows themselves at that age. Sex is EASY but the emotions behind it are hard and sometimes devastating, so think before you stroke it. Lol.


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