August 8, 2011

Letting Go - Request for Advice

A few of my readers have sent me advice emails but now I am in need of advice. I'm asking you, my readers, to help me with a certain situation.

I realize I have a problem. I have a problem letting go. No, it may not seem like a really horrible problem to you, but it is and I hate it. Once I'm hooked on something (or someone) I can't seem to let go emotionally. Not in all cases, but the two most significant relationships in my life revolved around memories and regret that I still have today. I want some things to last forever, I want some things to still have that new car smell twenty years from now. Now I know I'm not clingy, I let things and people go when I have to, but my mind still holds on to the emotions, thoughts, and regrets.

A good example is about this guy that I knew and liked back in high school. I almost got serious about him until my brain went numb (and dumb), I said something stupid, relationship over. This was in high school, at least 4 years ago, my sophomore year, and until recently I've always regret that moment. I thought about him all the time while he probably could care less about me at this point. I feel like I'm the cause he is how he is today. Maybe I'm over-analyzing it, maybe I'm being conceited. I would love, love, love to apologize but after all this time, 4 years of awkwardness, he's really going to think that I'm crazy. Also, the fact that we avoid each other doesn't help either. I just wish I could take it back, I think he was soooo amazing back then, but now he's just a complete 360. I'd love to have our friendship back, and to let him know how immature I was and that I'm not that girl at all. The worst part to me is that if I apologized, he'd just not care, even if I put my heart and soul into it. It's like confronting the kid who bullied you in elementary school, 20 years later. Usually pointless and disappointing.

I don't know, I guess it's just another thing that I absolutely need to work on.

1 comment:

  1. some people are just like that. For the most part it's a good thing but alot of people in the world are the opposite. I can easily detach myself emotionally from things and people. it is a good talent in a way but i've been called heartless because I'm not emotional at all. I have feelings but I'm not emotional if that makse sense. That's why I hate romantic comedies. lols.