September 21, 2011

The Biggest Loser (Rant)

The Biggest Loser --

In case you missed it, The Biggest Loser is a reality TV show that helps overweight/obese people lose weight to become allegedly happier and healthier. It's had a long run thus far, over 5 years and thousands of pounds later, they're still kicking. The show is supposed to be motivational and inspiring for the audience, and that is the exact opposite of how I feel after watching an episode. Especially a season premiere.

The show generally starts off somewhat positive. Everyone has their own reason for losing weight whether it's to achieve a state of 'beauty' or to be able to play with their kids without being literally weighed down by their size or to just win the cash prize and fame at the end. Either way everyone has a goal and a reason. The show then makes a sharp turn from positive to just sappy and depressing. The first challenge brings on buckets and buckets of tears AND whining. It makes another sharp turn and becomes more annoying than depressing. I'm not sure if it's all just an act, or what but the constant crying is annoying, and when the tears begin, it's neverending. I watched one entire season a couple years back and every episode involved someone crying! I understand that losing weight is can be a rather emotional experience, but crying just because you want sympathy or because you're in front of a camera is totally unnecessary. It makes us bigger people appear as wimps and whiners. We're already conceived as being vulnerable and lazy. They're only feeding into the stereotype (which leads me to believe that some of the tears and so called emotions are scripted). The contestants act as if they've never seen the show and don't know what to expect. They act as if they've never had to exercise, like it's all completely foreign.

I have not seen one even partially happy fat person on the show to date. The casting folks must make it a goal to only choose people who are depressed and hate their bodies, which is also a BIG misconception. Not all fat people are depressed and sitting in front of a TV eating cake frosting while watching a Richard Simmons video. Some fat people, are happy and even healthy. I see tons of parents who are overweight and still play with their kids, and still consider themselves beauty despite their size.

I'm tired of the negativity that the Biggest Loser presents to their viewers. Just because it's 'reality TV' doesn't mean that it's truly 'real'.

September 20, 2011

September 4, 2011


Sitting in a small closet.
On the carpeted floor.
The door is closed.
Everything mute.
Just me and God, no one else.
I feel free, I feel liberated, emancipated.
I can scream my deepest, darkest secret.
I can sit in silence and not say a thing.
Either way, I have a choice.
I sit there, one hour, then two. I look around. It's a warm, cozy room.
There's clothes, shoes, and junk scattered about everywhere.
Those shoes, I haven't worn in months.
I feel a draft.
I think it's God, he wants me to focus on the task at hand.
I sit there again, my mind blank.
I sit there until sitting has become a bore.
I want to say something, but I don't know what.
"I have everything I want. I need not ask for more. I am happy." I say.
Mama always said God knows a lie.
I want to get up, and walk out of that closet, but I feel an urgency that warns me to stay. I can say anything I want, but I choose not to.
I am free, I am liberated, emancipated but still I sit there in shackles.
I start to sob, I don't know why. Or do I?
I sit there, sobbing and as my tears fall, my deepest most personal prayer begins to emerge. I buried it so long ago, I forgot it was there.

"I WANT TO BE LOVED, I WANT TO BE LOVED, I WANT TO BE LOVED." I scream. I chant those five words loudly, like a proud song.

A few minutes more, the dust settles, and all is well. For now. I get off of the floor, and dust off my dress pants. I've been away from the festivities for hours now. I head back downstairs, there's turkey and cornbread dressing in the air. Nothing beats Thanksgiving dinner. House is packed to the max, with the people I call family, friends...And all I want is to be loved.