October 16, 2011

Emotions...Taking Me Over

Is it really possible to run out of tears? I think I'm going to be out of tears by the time I'm 30. I cry for everything. The smallest thing brings tears to my eyes. Yesterday, in class, we watched a movie and I cried buckets of tears. My desk was wet with tears! It was sad but such an amazing story.

Tonight, I started crying thinking about the idea of falling in love while listening to the radio. JUST THE IDEA made me cry. I heard about one of my former teachers who passed away. I didn't know the cause of her death until one of her neighbors told me. I cried just knowing what kind of pain she went through. I cry at weddings and funerals. I've seen 100,000 romantic comedies and I've cried while watching each of them.

I know I'm overly emotional. Everything touches my heart in a deep way. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad. Tears are supposed to be for special moments. When I get married, I'm just not going to wear makeup I KNOW I'm going to be crying the whole time. When I have a child, I'm going to be crying every day. When that child goes to school, I'm going to cry, when he graduates, more tears. Sigh. Is it bad to be so emotional? I'm not depressed or anything, I've always been like this. I cry more tears of joy than sadness.

I do have a lot more compassion for others than most, and it's mostly due to my emotions. I feel empathy and sympathy for everyone, which helps me to be a giving a person. Thinking about it now, I think my emotions shape me as a person, my tears open my heart to love and hospitality.

I don't know...God made me this way for a reason. I think He is actively working, preparing and molding the perfect person for me, which is why I have never been in a real relationship. I used to always think it was a bad thing (to not have been in a real relationship), but the Lord knows my delicate heart, He knows that a bad relationship would kill me emotionally. I just hope I'm right about this...

October 8, 2011

Being Approached vs. Not Being Approached

Hello everyone! :)

I KNOW it's been forever and a day since I've posted something but I have been amazing occupied with school, work, and life in general. So, now I'm back, at least for a little bit!

Over the past few weeks, I've been observing and thinking...What's better: Being approached or not being approached? What brought on this question? Two separate scenarios that happened to me. One day I was at work and as I casually scanned the lobby, this guy was looking in my direction. I didn't pay it much attention and just glued my eyes to the computer screen. About a minute or so later, the same guy comes up to the desk and tells me how I caught his eye and how he wanted to get to know me and all that jazz. I thought it was really, really, really sweet that he came up to me so nicely, but I wasn't interested. I hated turning him down because I know how much courage it takes to come up to someone like that, but I have my reasons.

On the other hand, I've seen guys just look at me and kind of stare. Demonstrating some kind of interest. The thing that I hate about this kind of approach is that it feels stalker-ish. At first it's cool and fun, a little eye flirting here and there but after awhile it's sort of annoying. And you don't really know if the person is into you. Maybe they're just checking out your outfit, maybe you have something between your teeth, or maybe that person is just nosey as hell. Honestly, I hate being stared at, it makes me feel uncomfortable, it feels like I'm being criticized rather than being checked out. But I know some people personally who love this kind of indirect approach, just staring for each other. In fact, some people have fallen in love JUST by watching each other. Some people have a 'staring relationship' for MONTHS at a time (especially if they frequent a common place) without speaking a word and physical appearance isn't even a main factor.

Check out this music video by Amerie. I LOVE this song, it pretty much describes what a 'staring relationship' is...

So, which way do you prefer? Do you enjoy the pick-up lines, small talk, and exchanging numbers? Or do you prefer the subtle, 'watching me while I'm watching you' approach?