November 30, 2011

Writing Again...

Ok so after next week I'll be COMPLETELY done with the Fall semester. AMEN! So I'm writing again. It's going to actually be a fiction piece. I'm bad with titles, so as of now it's title-less. It's (of course) a romance type deal with a little dramatic twist. Based on my last post entitled Soldier Dreamin', I saw that you guys really liked that one (based on the pageviews/hits it received), so it's kind of coming from that in a sense. I'll tell you guys what it's about, or at least what I've come up with. Story idea copyrighted by ME. You have no permission to reproduce it or use it in ANY way, or you're sued my friend :) Anywho...

The story is about a man (I'm bad with naming characters as well so they're all nameless). Not just any man, a Marine. Before his deployment he's set to marry this girl who he's known for a long time. They're perfect and happy and just so much in love prior to his deployment. She's basically the only real family that he's had over the years. His father died in combat 20 years earlier, when he was just an infant and his mother abandoned him when he was 16. By the time he returns from his tour 18 months later, the wedding is all set and it's taking place within the next couple weeks. But when he meets up with an old high school friend his feelings for his fiance' are shaken and stirred. Since he's returned to the states he sees things and people in a new light, his friends, family, even his beloved fiance'.

I'm still not even exactly sure what point of view I'm going to take. I could speak through him, his fiance', or his old friend. Decisions, decisions.

November 27, 2011

Reliving My Childhood Through Music

OMG! Last night I spent over 4 hours looking up old 90's and early 00's songs! It brought me back to a simple time when things were so peachy and everything was joyous. It brought tears to my eyes, I miss that time SO much.

Not only do I miss my childhood, I miss the 90's culture in general. The music was GOOD and fun, nowadays music is nonsense and except for a few good new artists, it sucks. As a kid I wasn't allowed to listen to rap and I'm actually so thankful for that restriction. I got a chance to listen to so many other genres, it helped me to become a well rounded person and I developed my love for pop music, which might not have happened if I only listened to rap/hip-hop and R & B.

Put me in a time time capsule and transport me back to 1998, I want to relive those carefree, savored moments! Here are some videos/songs that I still love to this day. They also bring back fond memories of slap bracelets, my first real crush, boy bands, cargo pants, Lisa Frank school supplies, wind suits, careless summers, neon colors, and Zoog Disney.

WARNING: 90's/early 00's nostalgia ahead :) I love them all equally!

November 26, 2011

Soldier Dreamin'

I always have weird and vivid dreams. Generally they aren't scary or nightmares but just weird. The other night I had a weird dream, and it was actually sort of scary. It even dealt with someone I hadn't seen in a couple years, except on Facebook. This guy, who I've known for years since we attended some of the same schools, recently went to Iraq or Afghanistan. Not for the hell of it, but because he's in a branch of the Armed Forces.

In my dream I was hanging out somewhere, like a store. I was sitting and I saw this tall guy come in. He looked almost dead. He was pale, and his skin had a gray-ish white tone, totally different from his usual tanned skin. He looked rough and so frail. He just looked like death. He went over to the counter and asked the woman who was there a question that was inaudible to me. He looked familiar to me from a distance but I wasn't sure if it was actually him.

The woman at the counter couldn't help him with whatever he was inquiring about so he started to walk away still rambling. I got up and walked over to him and he started asking and talking about drugs. I asked him if he remembered me and he said he did even though he was confused and somewhat disoriented. I told him that he didn't need drugs, that he needed to get clean because he looked horrible but he just kept talking while I half way listened. After a few minutes he just hugged me and said he had to go. In my conscious mind I wanted to say something, I wanted to stop him, but in the dream I just watched him walk away. As he stumbled away I thought about how much I cared for him and started to cry. I hated seeing him like that. I was overwhelmed with my feelings for him that I just couldn't stop crying...Then I woke up. I think it was one of the scariest dreams I've ever had. If it were to happen in real life, I think I'd be even more emotional than I was in my dream.

A lot of my dreams tend to come true. I have Deja Vu A LOT. Probably more than the average person. This is one dream I hope never comes true!

November 25, 2011

Fat Girl Perk 5429

There are many, many perks as it relates to being a big girl...One of them happens to be a woman's dream. No woman wants people to notice they've gained weight (unless they're an athlete building weight/muscle or a professional 'gainer'), no matter how obvious it may be.

How many sitcom episodes have you seen where a female attends one of those class reunion things? She either doesn't want to go because she's gained weight or wants to go to see who got fat. Well my friends, us lifelong fat girls don't have to worry about that. When I was in high school I was always big, so 20 years later if I've gained a couple measly pounds no one would notice. On the other hand, if the 110 pound star cheerleader gained 10 pounds over the years everyone would notice.

Even on Facebook it's noticeable. I was talking to a friend from high school who was randomly browsing former classmates' pages. Every other profile after another I'd hear her blurt out "Ooooh, this girl has gained some weight!". It's 100 times more noticeable when smaller girls gain weight. Thank gravity and angled Facebook profile pictures I guess.

Fat Girls - 1 Skinny Girls - 0. BAM!

November 20, 2011

69 Questions About Yours Truly

I got these from an old Myspace website. Remember when we all did those surveys and posted them on our bulletins during the late 'Myspace days'? Ha. Just reliving my glory days! Copy and paste to your own blog and answer them if you'd like :)

1. The phone rings; who do you want it to be?

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
-Yes! I work at a library and I hate it when people don't place their unwanted books in the designated areas, so I empathize with the cart pushers! :)

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
-Definitely listener. I love to listen!

4. Do you take compliments well?
-Sorta, kinda, maybe. I don't know. It really depends on who it's coming from. If it's from a random person I'm always suspicious. I never believe them. I have my reasons why.

5. Do you play Sudoku?

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
-As long as I have food, water, paper, pencil, hell yeah. Lol. I don't mind being alone.

7. Do you like to ride horses?

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
-Lol no. My mom always wanted me to be a girl scout but...Yeahhh.

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
-Heads up, seven up at school! So fun. Lol. And musical chairs for some reason. I know I'm a dweeb.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it?
-Oh hells no. That's so low and beneath me.

11. Have you lied to get out of a date?
-Yes. My fear of relationships has gotten me out of lots of dates.

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
-Depends. Not an atheist or agnostic though, we could always be friends! :)

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
-To be pursued *shy smile*

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
-Crazy, curvy, cool

15. Do any songs make you cry?
-My word, yes indeed! Too many to list.

16. Are you continuing your education?
-Yep, hopefully I'll have my BA in 2013!

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
-Nope, never tried and I don't even want to try. I hate guns.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
-My mama

19. How often do you read books?
-Very often. I try to read something everyday. Not even a book, but even a magazine, or a blog, articles or something.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
-Past dweller.

21. What is your favorite children's book?
-Too many to list. I have so many.

22. What color are your eyes?

23. How tall are you?
-5ft4...I wish I were a little bit shorter.

24. Where is your dream house located?
-I don't know really.

25. Do you have a secret fetish?

26. Have you tried sushi?
Never. Have you tried pickled pig lips?

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
-Haha, yessir.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
-About 10 years ago.

29. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend?

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
-From my bed to the bathroom.

31. What was your favorite job?
-I've only had one thus far, and I like it.

32. Do you like mustard?
-Ugh NO way. Hate it. It has the evil power to ruin one's sandwich.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
-I look exactly like my mama.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
-Around 35 minutes on average.

36. Can you do the splits?
-Yerp. I can do all kindsa tricks.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
-Tower Heist!!

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
-Nope. I used to when I was a young teen. But not anymore.

39. What did you do for New Year's?
-Popped bottles. Flirt with the hoodrats, then popped models.

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
-Never seen it boo.

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?\
hm. Not really. Nice movie though!

42. Do you own a camera phone?
Uh, yeah! Can't you tell this is from the Myspace age? lol.

43. Have you ever been kissed?
-Nope I haven't. I just imagine what it's going to be like. I am VERY OCD about breath and spit. I hate smelling breath even if it's 'fresh' and I hate spit so, yeah, my first kiss is going to be weird. Lol. The Lord knows me, that's why my first kiss has been delayed.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
-Lol no.

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?

46. Do you like your middle name?
- I wuv it.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
-On a normal night like between 4 and 6 hours.

48. Do you like care bears?
-Not really...

49. What do you buy at the movies?
-Tickets! All that other nonsense is uncalled for and much too pricey.

50. Do you know how to play poker?
._. *pokerface*

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
-I try to. But I'm always rushing/late so it never really works out.

52. What do you wear to sleep?
-Pajammie Jams. Hoe.

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
-Nothing really that I consider big.

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
-Two on average.

55. Is your tongue pierced?

56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?
-Why yes, yes I have.

57. Do you read myspace bulletins?
-Haha, not since like 2007.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?

59. Ever been to L.A.?
-What do you think?!

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
-Why yes, yes I did.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
-Haha. No?

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
-Seriously I pay for all my music. I'm an artist and would hate if someone got my hard work for free.

63. Do you hate chocolate?
-Dark chocolate and mint chocolate, yes.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
-Nothing really. I'm out of my angsty teenage years.

65. Are you a gullible person?
-Kinda sorta.

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
-No lol. I've never had one and I'm always pretty happy. I have so many other things in life to be happy about.

67. If you could have any job what would it be?
-High school English Lit. teacher.

68. Are you easy to get along with?

69. What is your favorite time of day?
-After 11 PM but before 4 AM.

November 17, 2011

November 13, 2011

Someone Like You - Story VLog

1. I'm actually quite ill in this video. Sorry if I seem distant.
2. Sorry for all the "um-ing" and for looking down so much. lol. I was reflecting...
3. Sorry if the accent was annoying. I loved doing it lol.

I forgot to give you guys a little background info. I had a huge, gigantic crush on this person and along with the help of a friend, I built up the courage to speak with him and it just took off from there and flowed like poetry. I tried playing difficult but he opened me up pretty easy <3. The feelings were mutual, even after I messed up, he tried to rekindle what was left of the flame, but me being such an IDIOT, I continued to blow him over. Back then when he was like he was, I was the only person going gaga over him. Now, he's changed and he's a hot topic. YOU BELONG WITH ME *Taylor Swift voice*. Bleehhhhh. I just want him happy, really. Even though I show some hope at the end of the video, I know the 'new' him would never go for someone like me, so...

Moving on...

November 10, 2011

Cater to...Who?

Today I was driving and had my iPod connected to my car stereo. It was on shuffle, and out of the blue "Cater 2 U" by Destiny's Child [video below] starts to play. I love the feel of the song, because it has a nice sensual feel and sets a nice mood, but the lyrics are bothersome. I know as a woman you're supposed to be submissive in regards to your man (husband, not boyfriend) but, isn't there a such thing as going overboard? In Christianity, you're supposed to always submit to your husband and follow his lead no matter what because he's the man, but that's a hard pill for me to swallow. Maybe it's because I'm a naturally dominant person, but I cannot see myself submitting totally to my man's every need. I understand the cooking, cleaning, through sickness and in health vow but feeding, bathing, brushing hair, foot rubs, manicuring, and sex whenever HE wants it is TOTALLY out of the question. I'm not his personal assistant, I'm his wife and BOTH of our needs should be satisfied, not just his. It's different if he's sick or something, but just for the hell of it, no way.

In the song Kelly sings "...Whatever I'm not fulfilling another woman is willing". In my opinion, if you have to kill yourself and just completely live your life based on his needs and just existing to make him happy, it's not worth it, let him go. I wouldn't want a relationship where I couldn't breathe, live, or think without him and that's exactly what they're singing about. Beyonce even sings, "My life would be purposeless without you" REALLY? I just think most of the song is unrealistic and sending out the completely wrong message. The saddest part is that most females do this stuff for their boyfriends and not their husbands. I'm more open to the idea of catering to your husband rather than your boyfriend. I've said this before, but I'll say it again: If you're giving him all the perks of a marriage while you're still in the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' phase why would he ever want to get married?

I want to accept and love my man for who he is, and I want him to do the same. I don't want him to love me solely because of the nice things that I do for him and vice versa. Eventually, I'm going to get old and the foot rubs, manicures, and sex on request isn't going to happen, do we just go our separate ways then?

Like in the movie "Coming to America", Hakeem (Prince of Zamunda) could pick any woman he wanted, a woman who would do anything for him, even act like a dog on command. This woman was raised JUST to make him happy, but he knew that a relationship like that wouldn't hold substance. I know it's only a movie, but it demonstrates a good point. We shouldn't look at a partner and think "Hmm...What can he do for me?". That's not love it's an entrapment.

November 9, 2011

November 8, 2011

All White Males Will Be Extinct Come 2015

Call it a prediction, hypothesis, or prophecy but I see it coming. Of course by extinct I don't mean to vanish off of the face of the earth *sigh of relief*, but I mean that every white male will be 'claimed' or 'taken' by 2015. Why? White guys are a hot commodity these days. Just look at the statistics: Asian women prefer white males over other Asian males. White females prefer white males over other ethnicities. Black women are dating and marrying white men now more than EVER and with more black males being imprisoned now more than ever, who blames them? I see a trend here people. I'm not saying white males are superior to other races, but I'm saying that the research is suggesting that: 1. White guys are flying off your local shelves 2. White people need to get to work and pop out more babies to prevent this national crisis.

They're climbing in your windows and snatching yo' people up trynna take 'em so ya'll need to hide your white men...