May 29, 2012

Being a Virgin Is a Sin

When's the last time you got some? Have sex now and be saved from eternal damnation because being a virgin is a sin. Warning: This is probably my longest blog ever proceed with caution :)

In case you didn't know Meagan Good is getting married sometime this year. It was reported a few days ago that she and her husband were waiting to be married to have sex, despite being together for a couple years, they have never had sex (although she has had sex before getting together with him she's practicing abstinence). Probably mostly because her husband to be is a minister but either way I was happy to hear that they are waiting for marriage as most modern couples do not. My happiness turned to disgust when I read some comments about this story on a blog site. Here are some direct quotes (from:

"THAT'S STUPID!!!! Who buys a car without driving it first?? She doesn't even know if his dick works, if it's 3 inches long or if he lasts maximum 4 minutes. He might me impotent for all she knows..." - Anonymous 4:41pm

"So what he's GAY! Of a DL Bro which doesn't surprise me being so involved with the church and all!" - Anonymous
3:49 pm

"Ok so either A) he's waitin on some clean test results B) he's waitin on 50 cent's funk to wash off, or C) he has a whack wank and dont want her to know about it. Either way I get the feeling that this "waiting until marriage" thing is HIS idea. *Shrugs* congrats to the couple, hope they end up happily ever after." - Another Nobody 2:55 pm

"So judging by the majority of the comments, its okay to have sex outside of marriage? Why is the bible always thrown at the gays. Seems like everyone is sinning. Shouldn't we all be waiting until marriage to have sex?" -TY 1:16 pm

You're probably wondering why I quoted mostly negative comments ...Well the answer is simple. Out of the nearly 200 comments, there weren't very many positive things said. I was actually surprised, but after thinking about it, lately being a virgin or even being abstinent is considered 'uncool', stupid, shameful and even sinful.

It's in movies, music, and TV...Being a virgin sucks. Remember the movie The 40 Year Old Virgin starring Steve Carrell as a 40 year old guy who had never had sex? The whole movie portrayed his life to be boring, uninteresting, miserable and quite shitty because of his virgin status. What about the slew of no strings attached movies that came out within the last year? Where sex always leads to romance and love.

I don't have a problem with people having sex before they're married, as it's their life and their choice, I have a problem with the negativity being placed on virginity. Then we wonder why kids are starting to have sex at 12 years old. Girls think they'll never fall in love if they don't have sex (or they think sex always equals love) and guys think sex makes them more masculine and cool. Some people just do it to say they did it. Virginity is becoming
less coveted and more ridiculed.

I remember back in high school I loved
The Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot. When I was in 10th grade I got to the last book in the series. By the time I got to the second chapter, I closed the book and threw it on my bed. Phrases like "Have you seen "it"" or "Are you two going do "it"?". I hated the fact that the author had to use sex to make the last book more appealing. Sex sells.

There's a whole sexual propaganda out there. People who are sexy and sexual have a good life, while clean cut virgins are nerdy and boring. If you want to have a good life, you need to do this and the worst thing in the world is to be a virgin BS.

My parents always told me to wait for marriage when I would inquire about sex as a preteen. Once I became a teenager we had "The Talk" but they never told me it was totally wrong to have pre-marital sex but I decided early on I wasn't having sex before marriage. I don't find it hard to not have sex, but I do find it hard to live in a society that says what I'm doing is wrong, stupid, and lame. Sex is such a major part of relationships these days, and even though I am proud and confident with my decision it makes me feel more hopeless that I'm not going to find the right person or The One without having sex. I was even called naive when I told a guy how I felt about sex. I don't think sex should make or break any relationship but most people think the exact opposite.

There's this gameshow called Baggage, where the contestants are competing to win over a guy/girl solely by revealing how much baggage they have. Some of the contestants reveal odd things like their a convicted felon, Satan worshipper, and they enjoy being in unstable, open relationships. On one episode a female contestant revealed that she was a virgin, and the guy eliminated her during the first round. I think my helpless feeling was justified when I watched that. Especially when he ended up choosing a girl who had been to jail for theft and still sleeps with stuffed animals.

It's been said many times that there's someone for everyone. Surprisingly, even as hopeless as I feel, I have faith in that phrase. I believe that there is some guy who doesn't think I'm stuck up, naive or boring because I'm not having sex with him. I wish society's viewpoint on this topic would evolve...i feel like Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter, but instead I'm wearing a big V on my blouse instead of an A.

If being a virgin is a sin, I'm a sinner...

May 22, 2012

My Life...In Gaining W8

I was reading another bloggers post about when/how/why she gained weight and became fat so it kind of inspired me to discuss my own. Don't worry it's not depressing. Promise. 

Most people tend to gain weight as they get older, during college, or after having kids, but mine happened much earlier. Before I could even understand the dynamics of overweight, dieting, obesity, etc. Up until around 3rd grade I was an average sized kid. I didn't notice I was getting fat until I some bully named Vincent called me fat-so in 3rd grade. This same year my family and I moved from across town, brand new house, new neighbors and a new school. It was all a different world to me. I didn't even believe him, I just hated him because he liked to tease and torment me.  I figured that since I wasn't teased for being fat in 2nd grade, I wasn't fat in 3rd grade either. Very logical of me.

It took us about three weeks to move to our new house and due to packing and cleaning my mom wasn't able to cook our meals. So, we began eating lots of fast food. Before moving across town, fast food was a usually a treat for my brother and I, when we had a good report card, did our chores, or when we received good scores on our standardized tests. During those three weeks my brother and I were in heaven, which is probably how I gained weight.

I never really looked at my body until 3rd grade. I remember this day vividly, because it was the first time I had looked at myself...Naked. I realized that my stomach was round and soft. I touched it, rubbed it, and pressed against it and felt that it was kind of hard in the middle. I started to panic after feeling it was hard in the middle. I thought I was pregnant. It's hilarious now, but I was terrified. I didn't know anything about babies or even sex for that matter, I just knew that all women with round hard stomachs were pregnant. My suspicions got worse when my mom began to shop for me in the Juniors plus and Misses section, a section mostly for teens and young women. I kept thinking that she knew I was pregnant too!

After a few months my stomach didn't get bigger like most pregnant women, so I figured I wasn't pregnant, just chubby. I learned to hate the word fat, because Vincent (and other kids who teased me) made it sound so horrible, so disgusting, so deviant. At that point body image and self esteem hadn't kicked in, I just knew I hated being called fat. I did compare myself to the other girls in my class, most of them were Asian or Caucasian, and they were all super skinny and short, while I was chubby and taller.  I didn't think anything of it, at least not at that time.

May 20, 2012

Guys and Girls CANNOT Be Friends

Whilst browsing on Facebook, I noticed a typical post that said 'Like this if you believe this, comment if you don't believe this'. Usually I just ignore such posts, as they are super annoying, but this one I totally disagree with.

I don't believe that males and females can be just friends without one catching feelings sooner or later. I know this from experience, maybe My situation is is different as all situations are different. But I've seen it happen to others time and time again. Just think about how many couples were best friends before dating?

There's also the books, movies, music, and even family members convincing people that their opposite sex friend should be their lover. It's not easy to escape societal pressure, and some people become convinced that their friend is their soulmate, after all they have so much in common! Then three things may happen: a.) Their relationship fails and they figure out they are meant to be friends b.) It's a success, they end up married and have a fairytale ending or c.) It's successful, they marry, then figure out shortly thereafter they were better off friends.

I'm no relationship expert, and this is only my opinion but yeah...I would offer advice (or my opinion) on how girls and guys can be friends but that's another post, for another time.

May 15, 2012

Graduating from High School

First of all, if you are graduating or have graduated from high school CONGRATULATIONS my loves!

I remember the day I graduated from high school like it happened an hour ago. I can't really describe how I felt, I was nervous, scared, tired, energetic, excited, and sad all at once. No one probably noticed but I even shed a tear or two when the class song was played. It was a Whitney Houston song that was more depressing than inspiring. I felt a tingle in my heart, one tear fell, then another. Even I couldn't believe I was crying. I hated high school for the most part! I looked around at the people in my section, pretty sure I wasn't the only one crying, but everyone else seemed unmoved. Damn hormones.

This was the beginning of the rest of my life (or so I was told) but also the end of a life I had known for over a decade. I wasn't fond of high school, I didn't have any real friends there but my classmates were my community. I knew of everyone even if we weren't friends we shared a common community, almost like distant relatives. I wasn't going to see those familiar faces anymore.

As I sat there in my assigned seat at graduation, perspiring from the warmth of a packed assembly center, I looked around and those people who had surrounded me for years wouldn't be there anymore. The thought of change made me nervous. Sure high school was a breeze, but what about college? I wasn't sure about my future and I just didn't want to close the book on my past.

After the gloomy graduation song, the principal made a speech that I only half paid attention to. Then the Valedictorian and Salutatorian made their speeches respectively. For some reason after I heard them speak, I felt better, I felt like it was ok to move on to a new chapter because life doesn't stop.

Then it was diploma time! I was in the second row, and watched as the first row proceeded to the stage. I kep thinking about every graduates worst nightmare...Falling on stage! As my row got up, I was nervous but ready. As I got closer to the stage, I kept thinkikng about the milestone I was about to cross. Not everyone is so blessed to receive a diploma. Just a century ago my ancestors were denied even basic education and here I was, receiving my diploma. Up until that moment school was a place I went to make good grades and to learn but it's more than that. It's your foundation, it's your guided pathway into the world. It prepares you mentally and socially, more than any other place could. It's a purgatory, so to speak. A place between (and during) childhood and adulthood. I realized that 2 minutes before receiving my diploma after 12 long years.

Finally, I was at the front of the line, when I heard the Assistant Principal call my name time stood still, I felt like I was in the middle of a bubble as I walked up to the principal, shook his hand, posed for a picture, and walked off stage. My relatives had been cheering for me but I couldn't hear a thing. It was surreal, up until I got back to my seat.

After I sat down I looked at the diploma holder and opened it, expecting to see my beautiful, shiny diploma! But it wasn't there!!! I looked around and realized no one else had theirs and word quickly spread that the actual diplomas would be given after the actual ceremony. I just missed the memo...What a relief.

After the ceremony I raced to the back where the actual diplomas were being given and after opening the envelope there it was! I was happier at this point and felt good about looking back on high school. No matter what obstacles I might face, I knew I'd have to tackle them head on. Life wasn't ending or just beginning, it was continuing. My future was bright, I just had to believe in me.

Graduation day was a mixture of emotions for me, but I wouldn't change it at all. If you are graduating from high school, please don't be afraid. Your life is not just beginning, it's only continuing and it can only get better from here on out. Believe in yourself at all times, and never feel discouraged. I believe in you! :)

I Love You...But I Don't Know You

I Love You...But I Don't Know You (and other random stuff) ---

I just finished reading this novel about a girl who falls in love with this guy that she doesn't even know. She watches his actions, listens to his voice, and sort of stalks him. She gets to know him indirectly by just observing, no in depth conversations, no text messages, no tweets, just by nature. Eventually she actually meets him and they fall in love. Typical fairytale. I loved the concept of this novel and it made me wonder is it truly possible to love someone without knowing them?

There have been various songs about this type of love phenomenon. Such as Alicia Keys' "You Don't Know My Name", which describes the feelings and emotions of a girl who is madly obsessed with this guy, gets his name and number from a business card he left at her job, and even fantasizes about their hypothetical relationship. What about that super popular song from the 90's by Savage Garden? The chorus says "I knew I loved you before I met you..." It seems as though loving someone before you really know them isn't so uncommon, at least in the music and movie industry.

Before writing this post, it took me 5 seconds to say that loving someone before you get to know them is absurd but the more I think about it, I think it can happen. Excluding middle schoolers and expectant mothers who love their child before birth, I think it's quite possible that a normal person can fall in love with a stranger. Sometimes you can feel a strong connection to a person that has nothing to do with the physical aspect. I believe you can love a person for their actions, their words, their voice, their body language, and just their presence. Some people fall in love with a person without even noticing those little things that can just be observed.

I've always been fascinated by the idea of love at first sight, not that I believe or disbelieve in it, it's just fascinating...It always makes me wonder how do you know when you've met the love of your life? People say you just know, but I don't believe that, not everyone just knows. I honestly don't think I'll know. I think my "one" is probably off somewhere about to get married because I was oblivious to the fact that he is/was my soulmate...Or maybe he's just hiding under a boulder of some sort. Who knows.

In closing, I'd like to apologize for my depressing, love-infested posts. I found out something about someone who I used to know and it's taking a toll on me, I'm not even sure why. It feels like a piece of my childhood is being taken away. Someone who's always been in the back of my mind is taking that step, and I just feel all weird, even though I knew it was coming. This in addition to "The Break Up". Ugh. Happiness, gaiety, and joy please come back to me. In a standard romantic comedy, this would the moment where the most amazing, magical moment occurs and the gray skies turn blue, as life goes from Death Valley to Mount St. Helens within a matter of minutes! Oh, I forgot this in real life. Le sigh.

May 12, 2012

Why I've Been Crying Every Night...

For the past four nights, I've been going to sleep with wet cheeks, a tear stained pillow, and a tortured heart. For the past four nights, I have been watching two romantic comedies before bed, which is why I've been crying every night before I go to sleep! I don't know why I torture myself. I mean, I LOVE LOVE LOVE a good romantic comedy but I'm always in tears at the end. Usually because either I can or can't relate to the story. Usually the latter.

I've even tried to watch a different kind of movie, but they just bore me. I'm not a movie buff and the first 15 minutes should capture me, if not, I'm shutting it off. 

Last night I watched 13 Going On 30 and Sixteen Candles. Both are on my favorites list, because I can actually relate to them both (minus the happily ever part...). I watched Sixteen Candles first, and I've seen it so many times, I didn't cry. I cried through the entire last 45 minutes of 13 Going On 30! I was thinking about someone and something and it just hit me. Tuesday I watched The Back Up Plan and even though I couldn't relate to it, there were some relationship aspects that I could definitely relate to, like shutting guys out and not being confident enough to know when someone is really into me.

*Sigh* This break up is effecting my emotions...Hard.

Anyone else remember and still love this amaaaazing song?

May 11, 2012

Three Things That Depress Me...

Hey all! It's the summertime and I'm back! Woot, woot! So, today I decided to check my email to see if anyone had sent me questions during my hiatus, and you guys did! I looked through the five emails that I received and all of them were great but this one was my favorite.

One of my readers asked: What depresses you personally, socially, and just in general? I believe this is a great question, and maybe you guys can relate to this question. Everyone has something that makes them sad, upset, or just angry. Here are mine.

One thing that depresses me personally is the fact that I'm 20 with no kids nor am I in a serious relationship. I know, shocker. As I've said in the past, I don't really want kids, and it's not that I want to be a mother. It's just the fact that I don't even feel the need to want the responsibility of a family or a child. Sometimes I feel like a late bloomer and even immature. I don't have the feelings that most girls my age do. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad thing. Almost everyone my age is either pregnant or has kids, in a serious relationship or engaged but I just want to go with the flow and let things happen. Sure, I'd love to get married and have my happily ever after, but as of late I'm not rushing, and maybe I should be? I don't know. It's kind of odd seeing girls my age and even younger planning to marry. I don't think I'm careless at all, just careful, you know? I think this really all has to do with the fact that I just got out of a relationship...

Politics. There's SO much turmoil within politics and I hate it. It depresses me that this country is so divided and that people are so ignorant. I feel like moving out of this country, to somewhere in Europe or maybe even Canada, anywhere but here.

In General
I have two of these and one I have said this before but, I can't stand society nor the media. Society is the worst, the fact that if society decides that you're too different, too skinny, too fat, too gay, too dark, too flamboyant, too weird, you're an outcast, you're wrong and you don't belong to be treated equally in society. The media and society are one in the same. The media just reiterates what society says through magazines, articles, and television. I just wish we didn't put so much value on what society thinks. I wish people knew that their opinion is JUST their opinion and no one has the right to place value on 'different' people. It's depressing that people feed into society instead of their own personal values. We glorify the beautiful, the rich, and the perfect but look down upon the normal, the poor, and those who are different.

The second general thing that depresses me, is weight loss commercials. I hate them because they are such lies and they portray fat people in such a negative light. A few weeks back I saw a commercial where Mariah Carey was conducting a panel-type discussion about weight loss. One of the females on the panels said "Being fat is just unattractive..." I almost threw something at my flat screen TV, but quickly came to reality after thinking over the money it would take to repair it. She should've said "I THINK being fat is just unattractive." She said the statement as if it were a law. Most of the time they talk about how their sex appeal has increased since losing weight and how men open doors for them. BS! Not all men think being skinny is sexy, and men hold the door open for me and I'm nowhere near small. It's depressing how they play with words to make fat people feel bad and insecure, that's not how it's supposed to go.

Anywho, those are the three things that depress me, and hopefully my feelings about these things evolve...Eventually.