October 2, 2012

Males and Drama

"I don't want a girl that has drama or huge baggage. I can't stand drama and refuse to date any melo-dramatic female." Oh, how many times have I heard this one! Guys say it all the time. Drama is supposedly like they're kryptonite. They don't need it, don't want to be around it, or even want to hear about it but I beg to differ.

At the beginning stage of a relationship you go through the whole "getting to know each other" phase. You lay out everything that you want to disclose to one another and see where it goes from there. Some people disclose a little, some people disclose their entire life story, and some people disclose their life story, their medications, secrets, past relationships, the whole nine. I'm closer to the 'entire life story' end of the spectrum. I tell the person at the beginning of the relationship a lot about myself, I want the person to get the gist of me not just a sample or an overwhelming amount of info from the start. Instead of playing cutesy, I just throw it out there -- cautiously. Of course I don't tell every detail but enough so that the person understands my values, personality, and just me. There's not very much to know about me, I don't have any crazy exes, no kids, I'm not a socialite, my job isn't all that exciting, and I'm drama-free.

After talking to this guy for about a week, I told him about my family, friends, pets, job, school, and some funny/life stories here and there. I thought things were going great until out of the blue he accuses me of lying to him. He said that I wasn't being open and honest about everything. I felt two emotions: 1.) Anger: He called me a liar and we hadn't even known each other for a month...Psycho! 2.) Embarassed: I realized that my life is very tame and can seem boring. Needless to say, I told him I wasn't lying and then I just let that ship sail. To make matters worse the same thing happened again! This time he didn't call me a liar but he kind of said (in so many words) "That's it? That's all there is to you?" It's like they were waiting for that "Aha" moment where I reveal that I live in an old shoe with a gazillion kids and an alcoholic husband. However, me and the second guy are still friends. YES!! Friendzoned. =l

I don't know, maybe I'm a boring person or maybe guys are lying. Maybe they love the drama, I mean society is about drama. TV is about drama. If there were no drama on TV there'd be no TV shows. As much as men, and people in general say they hate drama I think everyone likes drama, even if we don't want to admit it. Maybe this is why all the drama folks are in relationships, while the drama-free folks are wishing upon stars for romance. I'm happy with my life and HAPPY to be drama-free. I could create a fake drama filled life and maybe I'll be taken by next week, but that's not me and it's not who I want to be.