November 29, 2014

5 Songs I Want to Play at My Wedding

Let's use our imagination here...Of course, I'm not getting married anytime soon (unless this were a movie and Prince Charming has been stalking me for 3 years and finally confesses his love for me, sweeping me off my feet and down the aisle, to the altar pronto but I digress). I don't know if you guys know this but I love music. I love music so much, because it's a beautiful escape and the best form of expression. When I was younger I really wanted to be musically talented. I tried to play the violin, cello, piano, guitar and even the stupid recorder. I failed at all of them. I still have dreams of being able to master some instrument, but it's been scientifically proven that it's more difficult for adults to master things like foreign languages and musical instruments but you can do anything if you set your mind to it! So without further delay here are the 5 songs (out of many) that I would really want to be played at my wedding reception (In no specific order):

5. Don't Disturb This Groove - The System

This is a song from the 80's with a synth-pop and R&B feel. I love this song because I actually love the sound of the synthesizer. It's so versatile! The R&B singing over the upbeat, rhythmic music is just a perfect combination. The sound of it just makes you forget about the world around you, it's captivating and everytime I hear it, I get lost in the music. It's also a romantic song, and I could imagine any groom would sing this song to their bride. It's also great for a wedding because it is up-tempo but also has a steady rhythm that makes it easy to dance to.

4. I'll Be - Edwin McCain

"Strands in your eyes, the color of them wonderful stop me and steal my breath..." This song would leave me daydreaming of the perfect romance when I was a teenager. Even today, this song leaves me in a dreamy state. I love it when songs are expressive and emotional from a man's perspective and this one song that's the epitome of that. It's also a very popular song in romance movies, specifically one of my favorite movies, A Cinderella Story.

3. Ribbon in the Sky - Stevie Wonder

As I said previously, I love songs that are emotional from a man's perspective. This song is AMAZINGLY beautiful and Stevie's delivery is impeccable. I would probably want this song to be my wedding song, it's the perfect song to describe love and marriage. My favorite verse is towards the end "We can't lose with God on our side..." and I completely believe that when it comes to marriage.

2. Party - Beyonce

Beyonce's "4" album came out shortly after she and Jay-Z tied the knot. The album is full of songs stemming from marital bliss and what is a wedding reception? A party! It's very fitting and the lyrics are perfect for a recently married couple. I'm saving her other song 'Dance For You' for the honeymoon.

1. A cappella - Kelis

I love the lyrics to this song, because it talks about how before you meet the love of your life, everything's a capella. Yes it may sound beautiful but then once you add music, it brings things to a whole new level. Kelis actually wrote the song to talk about her relationship with her son. She felt as if her son brought accompanying music to her 'a cappella' life. The song has a heavy pop/dance/techno sound, but I would love to hear a slower, sensual version of this song on my wedding day.

A few honorable mentions:
Ignition - R. Kelly
Celebrate Tonight - Allen Stone
We Found Love - Calvin Harris
Man I Feel Like a Woman - Shania Twain (Would totally dance with my bridesmaids to this song!)
Heaven - Bryan Adams
Blame It - Jamie Foxx
Green Light - John Legend
Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer
Let's Stay Together - Maroon 5 version
Crazy Lucky - Better Than Ezra
Are You Gonna Be My Girl? - Jet
You and Me - Lifehouse
Bust Your Windows - Jazmine Sullivan (So he'll know what to expect if he cheats lol...Kidding!)

I'm not the best singer but I love to sing. One thing I would love to do at my wedding is sing a song to my husband. I'm not sure which song, but I'd love to sing to him and express my emotions through music...That would be awesome.

Now back to reality...

Being: An English Major

If you've read any of those articles about 'the best college majors', English (as well as Arts and Humanities) majors are never on the list. It's always some kind of Engineer, Science, or Computer related major. This post isn't about what it's like to be an English major per se, but about my evolution as a student, what I've learned and why I am thankful to be an English major, even if it's not one of those lucrative majors, what I've gained has no price tag. 

When I first started college, I had my heart set on becoming a Psychiatrist. People told me I was a good listener, and I had helped many people sort through their issues with a dose of common sense and offbeat humor that no one understood. I took a Psychology course in high school where there was one big project: plan your life. We were paired with the opposite sex (aka 'hubby') given a budget and told to plan our lives. Keep in mind this was a D rated public school. I thought if this is Psychology I can do this in my sleep! So, I did some research and in order to be a Psychiatrist you need a Baccalaureate Science degree plus 3-4 years of med school. Math and science (aka numbers and satan) are my absolute worst subjects. I don't do numbers and science is illogical. But I said 'I got dissss' and became a Biology major. 

Biology is actually the easiest of the sciences. It makes more real world sense to me than the other sciences. John Mayer and the band Earth, Wind, and Fire said it best "[Our] bodies are a [boogie] wonderland". When you're a Biology major you don't just do biology that would be much too easy! There's Chemistry (Inorganic or Organic), Physics, Trigonometry, Microbiology, Pathology, etc. but I said 'I got disss' and kept pushing. First semester I took 6 classes which was one of the hardest semesters of my college career. After 2 years of tears, tantrums, and test tubes I traded my lab coat for a badge in humanities. 

I never thought I'd be one of those students that changed their major more than once, because they couldn't decide what they wanted to be (those losers), but turns out that was me. I was a loser. First I changed my major to Psychology...Boy (or girl..Heyyy feminists) was I in for a rude awakening. So you mean Psychology is not as easy as common sense and has nothing to do with creating faux marriages and making dope powerpoints with over stretched pixelized pictures from Google about my dream life?! Ok, I was not that naive, I knew what Psychology was but I thought it would be easy nonetheless. I remember going to my academic advisor and she asked me why I wanted to be a Psych major. If there had been an audience I would've won an Oscar for my performance. True, I wanted to become a Psychiatrist but mostly because of what other people said and because of the huge paycheck it would bring but I truly didn't know why I wanted to a Psychiatrist. What did I want? I remember saying something in my speech to my advisor about mental health, Prozac Nation, and Dr. Phil. To give it a flair of American patriotism I went on a tangent about Apple Pie, Lady Liberty, and NASCAR. I even had a twinkle in my eye.

I cannot imagine what went through my advisor's head when I switched my major 6 months later to English. What happened to the Schizophrenic lady in green carrying an apple pie in the middle of a NASCAR race that inspired me to major in Psych? Somewhere in Prozac Nation watching Dr. Phil scream at guests about their mental health I suppose. (See what I did there?)

Before I could read I was a reader. I remember receiving this book about Snow White from my mom when I was about 3 years old. I couldn't read but I looked at the pictures and made up my own story. I even got a pen and 'wrote' my story in the book (they were actually just squiggly lines, therefore, I was writing in script at 3...Fancy). I wish I could find that book so someone could sell it on eBay for 30,000,000 to one of my future rich (and crazed) fanatics. Because truth be told I wouldn't even spend that kind of money on my own damn self. 

Even though I had my speech ready my advisor didn't ask me why I wanted to become an English major, she was probably still in shock due to my first 'performance'. People have always told me that I have writing talent. I don't think I'm that great but I've always enjoyed writing and reading. However, I didn't want to be put in a situation where I was following a career based on what other people thought. Why did I want to major in English? Why couldn't I just drag myself through Biology stuff? Science degrees will always triumph over humanities/liberal studies degrees in terms of pay and job availability so the choice should've been obvious right?

I took a semester of liberal arts classes and I fell in love. I'm about to give a speech here but this one is honest and from the heart, unlike my 'why I want to be a Psychiatrist' speech that I contrived in front of my advisor. 

As with Biology, when you major in English you don't only study literature and writing but also Anthropology, Sociology, Philosophy, Religion, Foreign Language(s), etc. For the first time in a really, really long time I was excited to learn. I wanted to absorb everything, I researched, I thought critically, I asked questions, and the best part is that I became so empathetic. Learning about various cultures, societal norms/issues, and even studying the bible and Jesus in an academic way changed me. Sidenote: I attend a private, Catholic college. I just loved learning about the human experience something that's so amazing yet we take it for granted. We do the human experience everyday yet we're all moving so fast we don't take the time to analyze it, ask questions, and a good bit of people don't even care about their fellow man. I've always had good values instilled in me from my parents but studying English has made me a better person and self-development is priceless. *Cue Michael Jackson's 'Man in the Mirror' This may be ironic but self-development can actually make you more selfless, at least that's how it happened for me. I really feel like a hippie, all I want is a world full of peace understanding and compassion. As MJ said "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change".  

So back to majoring in English...Yes, there's a lot of reading and writing but most of all it's a lot of critical thinking, and all the answers are never blatantly there but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I feel so blessed to be able to see things from different perspectives and I know how to care even without fully understanding. Priceless. I still don't know exactly what I want to be, but I just know that I want to spread what I have learned by serving people. I either want to be a writer, librarian, or teacher. If I'm lucky, maybe all of them simultaneously.

So, anyone out there want to pay off my massive student loans? They ar
en't quite priceless...

November 20, 2014

4 Things Single Ladies Notice First About a Man

I've been making a lot of lists lately so this post is fitting. I'm writing this because as a single lady, I notice myself noticing things about guys within the first minute. I'm not actively looking for a partner or anything, I think I'm just more aware of the opposite sex than I once was and also I'm 23 so my biological clock is ticking ya'll!

1. His ring finger!

When I see/meet a nice, attractive or interesting looking fellow I immediately look at his ring finger. Almost subconsciously. You can tell a lot about a man if you check out his ring finger. If he has on a ring it's simple: he's married, he's happy, he's not game territory. When some girls see a ring they feel the need to attract him or figure out if he's really happy enough with his marriage. I don't know, as soon as I see a ring on a man's finger I don't think beyond that, he's married and even if he isn't happy that's not my issue to sort through, call Dr. Phil or even Maury. When a man doesn't have on a ring, there's a lot that could be going on: 1.) He's taken just not married 2.) He's divorced 3.) He's gay 4.) He's in the type of relationship where they've been together ten years and he hasn't proposed (a common law type thing). In my state gay marriage is not legal but even still I'm sure some gay couples wear rings to symbolize their love and commitment. And gay couples can get married elsewhere, so if he doesn't wear a ring that doesn't really mean he's gay but he still could be. There's this guy that I am so infatuated with and he is ring-less and I have yet to figure out why, he's one of the most amazing men I've ever met. My guess is that he is in a relationship, how could someone like him not be?! Probably one of those long term ones...

2. How he treats you and other people.

One of the things that made me even more infatuated with the guy I'm infatuated with is how he interacts with other people. Even though I don't know him personally, he is genuinely a kind-hearted person. I saw him talking with this guy who most people would consider crazy. He treated the man with such kindness and was very patient, which of course made my heart flutter. His nature is just calm and he doesn't change from person to person, always consistently sweet. 

3. His eyes.

The eyes are called 'the gateway to the soul'... Or something like that. Single ladies notice the eyes more than any other physical feature. If you can captivate us with a stare, you might get the digits (do people still say 'digits'?). People think that only 'pretty eyes' are attractive but that's not so. The general consensus is that pretty eyes are the ones that are colorful and unique but even dark brown eyes are captivating. Eyes just have a way about being honest, even if the person doesn't intend it to be that way. It's the way you look at someone that can say a whole lot.

4. His career.

Now this is something you might not learn about in the first 60 seconds of meeting a guy unless he's in some type of uniform. I am an absolute sucker for a man in uniform (Firemen and soldiers yasssss)! It's nothing like an employed man with enough responsibility to wear his uniform with the utmost pride. A uniform just signifies that he has things in order, he's responsible, reliable, and has integrity --- Even if he's none of those things, first perceptions are everything. A person's career (uniform or not) says a great deal about them. If a guy is a teacher at an inner city school, that says something positive about him. You might think that he's compassionate, patient, and dedicated. His job can also reveal things you have in common, such as if you work in the same industry.

I know not all single ladies notice these things first, I cannot account for them.  Now about this guy I'm infatuated with that I mentioned a couple times, he's just eye candy nothing more, I promise. Do I wish it were more? To be quite honest, he's out of my league. I don't really believe in 'leagues' but this guy is out of my league for some very plausible reasons that I won't mention. Au Revoir. 

November 13, 2014

Hollywood Divas Episode 5 Review

Let me just start by saying this episode was probably my favorite out of the ones that I've watched. As I stated in my first review of the show (see the end of this post for the links to previous reviews) I don't feel pressed to watch every episode, but I am glad I caught this one. In this episode, the main points have boiled over and what everyone has been thinking has been spoken with the divas. And even though Golden is probably my least favorite of the divas, she shined through in this episode and I definitely give her all the due credit! Let's start from the jump...

The first thing that came up was a picture that Elise posted on Instagram with Golden. The picture had a caption that implied that Golden is Elise's favorite out of all the girls. Lisa showed Countess and Paula Jai the picture and they felt slighted. Lisa especially pointed out that such a thing creates division, which she believes is the last thing they need when working on a huge group project. I agree with Lisa...In a way. I think it all depends on how you're used to working. Some people go to work and expect everyone to be friends and love each other equally, while others keep work and friends separate. I'm not sure if Golden and Elise were friends prior to the show, from the first episode it didn't seem like it. Elise and Paula Jai seemed to be the only close ones. Either way, I don't think they should have felt so slighted. Elise nor Golden have authority over anything, so it's not like their favoritism will affect the project.

So, next the girls get into an argument and Golden says that everyone has thrown her under the bus, even Lisa. Chile if that ain't the biggest constructed lie I've ever heard. It's on camera how she was being shady towards Lisa the first time they met. I just don't understand how Golden can hate Lisa, she is so sweet and she tries really hard to get along with all of them. Countess (my other fave) sat there and didn't say anything during the argument, nor did she take sides. That's why she is amazing, she sat there like a grown woman and let the others hash it out. Now while I respect that, reality TV doesn't like maturity. I'm sort of afraid that if Countess keeps her mature attitude she won't be asked back next season. I LOVE her and when she does speak, she reveals that even though she is the youngest out of the group she is the most intelligent.

Golden says that "[Lisa's]...Booty shots are getting to her brain", which was rude. It's amazing to me that Golden says that Lisa keeps playing the victim, but in reality she's always playing the victim. In Golden's world, Golden is perfect and everyone else has the problem. She wants everyone to listen to her opinion because she's always right and once you disagree with her or stand up to her, she doesn't like you. Elise is my second least favorite, but I think she's honest and the most leveled. After the drama with the picture, Lisa and Elise go out to lunch. Elise told Lisa about what Golden said about her booty being fake, which was straight messy. If she wouldn't have told her what Golden said, she would not have known. Hell, Elise was laughing and agreeing with Golden which makes her just as guilty in my opinion. Anywho...

I am still having a problem with Paula's cut-a-ways (when they show a clip of her opinion/comments on the scene) because they sound scripted! I guess Forrest told her what to say there, too.

Paula Jai and Forrest's professionalism was the big topic on hand in this episode. After getting several writers to write the script, the girls agree that Forrest wrote it best. The girls ask Paula Jai for his email address so that they can discuss script changes. Turns out, Paula Jai and Forrest have the same email address. Professional and business life should be separate, especially if you're trying to make name for yourself. The people that you deal with should have a sense of confidentiality. Second, Paula is the director and it appears that she's very flaky with the girls. She says she has another job that requires her time, so she can't always be around. Paula Jai enlists Forrest to be the Assistant Director, which is like the second person in line to the director.

I don't believe Forrest has a lot of experience with the movie industry or any industry for that matter. He seems a little slow...with everything...which is why I was surprised that his script was good. He just doesn't seem like the brightest bulb. Prime example: Paula has food and champagne on the table when Forrest gets home (where was he coming from? Not a damn job). After popping a bottle of champagne, she says she has a surprise for Forrest and he says "Are you pregnant?". Um, sir, if she was pregnant I don't think she'd be drinking champagne, but I don't know Paula's life, she had to be drunk to name her son Onederful. I just can't even fathom such a decision...*sigh*

Golden even suggests that they fire Paula Jai. I think this is a slight bit extreme. I understand Paula is like the boss since she is the director and she needs to be there, but she does need time to invest in other things as well. From the previous episodes, Paula came to every meeting and one meeting, she should be fired? I think the issue is not truly that she's unreliable, but the fact that they just aren't professional. I think Paula should not have enlisted Forrest to be the Assistant Director because he doesn't have the experience or even the business like mind to run the group in Paula's absence. It's really sad that Paula can't do anything without Forrest. I understand they're a team but the fact that they aren't professional, will only hinder their efforts to succeed in Hollywood. The girls call Forrest during a rehearsal because he should be there in Paula's absence, and he did not know what to say. Most of what he said was a bunch of mumbling. I wanted to scream USE YOUR WORDS, ARTICULATE FORREST *in my Sheneneh Jenkins voice*.

The shit really hit the fan at the end when Paula accused Golden of wanting Forrest and flirting with him. As I said at the beginning, Golden really shined through tonight. Golden is so opinionated and she thinks that everyone wants her opinion all the time, which is my issue with her. But during this episode she really spoke the truth about Paula. Paula is so insecure with herself, which is why she can't deal without Forrest. Like I said in my other reviews, she has some deep seeded issues. The camera seemed to highlight a few moments where Golden was touchy feely with Forrest. I don't know, but I think that was an act. It just seemed contrived and unnatural. If it were real, it wasn't even really flirty. Golden did not seem interested in him in that way, and if Paula were secure in her marriage then she should not have let that bother her. I think in this scene, Golden revealed her true self. She said "I don't like that fool" chile she got urban, which was funny but more realistic than I've ever seen her act. She first said "I don't want your man, that's laughable...First of all, I like men who have jobs". I literally screamed! I mean we were all thinking it. I believe Paula is very delusional and it's almost sad to watch. She has no sense of self, and even in a marriage a sense of who you are is important.

This was a pretty good episode, the only thing that I didn't really like about this episode was the catty-ness. There was a lot of arguing, which is a make or break thing for me. It wasn't over the top, but it was getting to that point. All in all, this was a good episode and I'm glad Golden spoke those truths.

Until next episode, check out my other Hollywood Divas reviews AND my other posts:
Hollywood Divas Episode 1 Review
Hollywood Divas Episode 3 Review
When Your Friends Are More Attractive Than You...
Why Did Kanye West Marry Kim Kardashian?

November 10, 2014

4 Things to Know When You're Friends with Someone More Attractive ThanYou

I know I'm not the only who has felt this way. I have some beautiful friends, they are some of the most gorgeous girls ever! Being who I am (self-conscious, over-analytical, emotional, etc. etc.) has made me think about this subject long and hard and like I stated previously, I don't think I'm the only one. Have you ever been out with a friend and people seem to be drawn to him/her leaving you in the background just smiling and nodding? Have you ever lost a friend because of strain due to jealousy (whether you'd like to admit to or not)? Have you ever wondered while looking at your attractive friend(s), how the hell you two even came to be buds? Well, this is for you...The four things to know:

4. Your life experiences differ from your attractive friends.

Have you ever been talking to a friend and she goes on and on about how she can never get in and out of a store because there's always some guy(s) flirting with her? You may nod and smile as if you totally understand, but in reality the last guy that flirted with you was the creepy cart pusher with no teeth and too much to say. Attractive people have a different life than us average people. For us, it's a treat when guys buy us drinks, worthy of a Facebook status update! For attractive people, getting drinks "gets old". While attractive people may have been in their first serious relationship at 16, us average people were just trying to make it through Algebra without falling asleep. When average people receive compliments, it makes us feel good that someone went out of their way to compliment us, on the other hand, attractive people get compliments so often it's like their second language. So much so, that they don't even think about it, they don't dwell on compliments like we do.

3. You may become jealous.

I know, it's tiring and annoying when your friend is the head turner. Even if you're walking together, people view you as two totally separate entities. If you're in a restaurant, the guy from the bar sends her the free margarita, while you sip on your water hoping for the same treatment. It's difficult when your friend is garnering all the attention. The worst case scenario is if you're totally crushing on this beautiful, smart, sophisticated guy and turns out he likes her and not you. That can be awful, cause tension and may make you feel super jealous, among other reasons, but it's ok. Continue to number 2...

2. Avoid Comparisons.

Never, ever compare yourself to your attractive friend. It will only make you more upset at her, even if she's done nothing wrong. You may think "What does she have that I don't"? And when you start to make that list and it becomes obvious you'll regret it. This will cause more tension in your relationship and if she's a really good friend, it's unnecessary strain.

1. Beauty/Attractiveness is relative.

Through out this entire article, I've been talking about the 'attractive' friend. But what is attractiveness? Is there truly an ideal look that everyone wants? No. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I'm sure you've heard. We don't all find the same things attractive. While you're sulking over your friend getting free drinks, while you have to sip on free water, there's probably a guy from a far watching and wanting to approach you. Beauty is confidence, it exudes from your voice, your skin, your eyes, and your overall being. If you don't feel that you're as attractive as your friend, it'll definitely show. It is a fact that even the most beautiful people are considered ugly by someone. When you feel good and confident, you have no need to be or feel jealous. You may not have everything as far as physical assets but you're worthy and beautiful. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and really if you look at it, it's not fun being constantly approached by guys because of your appearance. These guys aren't trying to get to know them on a personal level but are basically being jerks. People who are 'attractive' often have a hard time keeping and staying with one person. They go through multiple relationships trying to find the one because so many guys only want the physical beauty and nothing more. When a person only wants the physical, it can be difficult to decipher who really wants you for who you are, not what you look like. The grass is never greener on the other side. Last but not least there is someone out there for everyone and eventually the right one will find you. He may not hound you in the Walmart parking lot or send you endless rounds of Tequila, but the person of your dreams will be where you least expect it.

From experience, I know what it's like to believe you're less attractive than your friends. I've felt all of these things, especially jealousy. I had to take a step back and look at me. My friend didn't do anything to deserve backlash, it was my way of thinking that caused the jealousy. But truthfully, there is no one more attractive than your own self, because there's only one, unique, and beautiful you. Now if only I can get this one guy to see that, I'll be set for life!