November 10, 2014

4 Things to Know When You're Friends with Someone More Attractive ThanYou

I know I'm not the only who has felt this way. I have some beautiful friends, they are some of the most gorgeous girls ever! Being who I am (self-conscious, over-analytical, emotional, etc. etc.) has made me think about this subject long and hard and like I stated previously, I don't think I'm the only one. Have you ever been out with a friend and people seem to be drawn to him/her leaving you in the background just smiling and nodding? Have you ever lost a friend because of strain due to jealousy (whether you'd like to admit to or not)? Have you ever wondered while looking at your attractive friend(s), how the hell you two even came to be buds? Well, this is for you...The four things to know:

4. Your life experiences differ from your attractive friends.

Have you ever been talking to a friend and she goes on and on about how she can never get in and out of a store because there's always some guy(s) flirting with her? You may nod and smile as if you totally understand, but in reality the last guy that flirted with you was the creepy cart pusher with no teeth and too much to say. Attractive people have a different life than us average people. For us, it's a treat when guys buy us drinks, worthy of a Facebook status update! For attractive people, getting drinks "gets old". While attractive people may have been in their first serious relationship at 16, us average people were just trying to make it through Algebra without falling asleep. When average people receive compliments, it makes us feel good that someone went out of their way to compliment us, on the other hand, attractive people get compliments so often it's like their second language. So much so, that they don't even think about it, they don't dwell on compliments like we do.

3. You may become jealous.

I know, it's tiring and annoying when your friend is the head turner. Even if you're walking together, people view you as two totally separate entities. If you're in a restaurant, the guy from the bar sends her the free margarita, while you sip on your water hoping for the same treatment. It's difficult when your friend is garnering all the attention. The worst case scenario is if you're totally crushing on this beautiful, smart, sophisticated guy and turns out he likes her and not you. That can be awful, cause tension and may make you feel super jealous, among other reasons, but it's ok. Continue to number 2...

2. Avoid Comparisons.

Never, ever compare yourself to your attractive friend. It will only make you more upset at her, even if she's done nothing wrong. You may think "What does she have that I don't"? And when you start to make that list and it becomes obvious you'll regret it. This will cause more tension in your relationship and if she's a really good friend, it's unnecessary strain.

1. Beauty/Attractiveness is relative.

Through out this entire article, I've been talking about the 'attractive' friend. But what is attractiveness? Is there truly an ideal look that everyone wants? No. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I'm sure you've heard. We don't all find the same things attractive. While you're sulking over your friend getting free drinks, while you have to sip on free water, there's probably a guy from a far watching and wanting to approach you. Beauty is confidence, it exudes from your voice, your skin, your eyes, and your overall being. If you don't feel that you're as attractive as your friend, it'll definitely show. It is a fact that even the most beautiful people are considered ugly by someone. When you feel good and confident, you have no need to be or feel jealous. You may not have everything as far as physical assets but you're worthy and beautiful. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and really if you look at it, it's not fun being constantly approached by guys because of your appearance. These guys aren't trying to get to know them on a personal level but are basically being jerks. People who are 'attractive' often have a hard time keeping and staying with one person. They go through multiple relationships trying to find the one because so many guys only want the physical beauty and nothing more. When a person only wants the physical, it can be difficult to decipher who really wants you for who you are, not what you look like. The grass is never greener on the other side. Last but not least there is someone out there for everyone and eventually the right one will find you. He may not hound you in the Walmart parking lot or send you endless rounds of Tequila, but the person of your dreams will be where you least expect it.

From experience, I know what it's like to believe you're less attractive than your friends. I've felt all of these things, especially jealousy. I had to take a step back and look at me. My friend didn't do anything to deserve backlash, it was my way of thinking that caused the jealousy. But truthfully, there is no one more attractive than your own self, because there's only one, unique, and beautiful you. Now if only I can get this one guy to see that, I'll be set for life! 


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