December 30, 2014

Breaking a Life Story (Part V)

(Read parts I-IV by clicking here!)

Part V --
(Note: Croix is pronounced 'CROY')

I ended up having a couple shots of Atomic Wine and it was quite tasty yet potent. I didn't get drunk but I felt better with alcohol in my system. After following up with some glasses of water, I tip-toed out of the club. Not to sneak around, but because my feet felt like I was walking on needles. I exited the club and walked around to the back of the building where I was parked.  The night wouldn't have been complete without at least one more mishap, of course.

As I tip-toed to my car, I wasn't paying attention and my heel got stuck in a small but deep pothole, twisting my ankle and sending me down to the ground, face first. I was in pain, I had wasted money going there, I was frustrated so I screamed and cried as I just laid on the ground. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I was a good person, I prayed, I respected my parents, my peers, and I just couldn't get ahead in life. I don't know how much time passed by, I just laid there crying wishing I had never had dreams beyond my hometown, wishing I had better luck. Through my tears I could see some headlights shining in front of me. I was almost in the middle of the driveway, I didn't care if I got ran over or not, my feet and ankle hurt so bad it would've been nice to be put out of my misery. I wondered if that would be considered suicide.

I heard a car door open and slam "Ma'am are ok?" I looked up and in the bright light I saw two bodies, both males.

"I just fell I'll be ok...I think." I said trying to suck up my emotions and pain. I wondered what a hefty girl like me must've looked like sprawled across the ground. I blushed hard.
"Is she ok?" Another body appeared, this one much taller. "Let's help her up."

I wasn't sure how they'd help me up without a forklift, but two of the three guys pulled me up to my feet. One of them was tall-ish and olive skinned with dark eyes, he looked Hispanic. I looked over to the taller guy and there he was, Bryan Reynolds. My mouth dropped, I couldn't believe it was him. I had never really met a celebrity. Sure, I was in the same mall as Scarlett Johansen once and maybe I got a peek of Jay-Z when he came to Birmingham for a charity event, but up close and personal? Never. I tried to bear weight on my ankle, but as soon as I did I yelped. The olive skinned guy was examining it as I stood there mesmerized by Bryan who was now on his cell phone.

"I think your ankle is just twisted a bit. Those shoes aren't helping. I'm Croix Panadero , Bryan's trainer.  I look at these kind of injuries all the time." I heard him say, but I was still focused on Bryan. "Ma'am..?"

"Oh yeah, I believe you. I will just go home and get some rest and ice it."
"Do you need a ride home, I'm sure Tommy wouldn't mind dropping you off."
"No, my car is just right there. Thank you."

Bryan got off the phone and he looked at me, he was perfect, more perfect than I had ever saw on TV. "Are you sure you're fine?" he asked seemingly as if he genuinely cared.

I swallowed hard as I looked at him in the eyes "Yes, I am fine. Thank you so much."
"Stay off of it for at least two days and you should be fine. If not go to the emergency room" said Croix.

"Oh no, I have to be out of here by check out time tomorrow, I'm just visiting. I can't afford to lay up in the hotel to recover."

"Where are you staying?" asked Bryan.

"Embassy suites just down the street on Marietta." I looked at him like he was my idol, clinging to his words, I'm sure I looked like a dork.

"You shouldn't drive with your foot like that. I'm at the Ritz-Carlton just a couple blocks away. Let us bring you to the hotel and we'll take care of everything else. Do you trust me?" he flashed that gorgeous smile I had always admired on TV and I melted on the inside but tried to remain cool on the inside.

I gave a big smile "Oh well that would be nice. Thank you so much...I don't know what else to say."

Croix picked up my clutch bag, keys, and cell phone as Bryan helped me to the SUV he was riding in. He smelled amazing, like the best after shave money could buy. I slid my heels off and my feet throbbed. I used my left foot to hop up inside of the truck. Bryan shut my door and walked around and got on the other side, sitting beside me. Croix sat in the front passenger seat, while the driver Tommy, put the car in drive and sped away. I retrieved my items from Croix and was quite paralyzed. Here was Bryan, the man I needed to save my career and I was silent. My hotel was a less than 10 minute trek so I had to speak up and fast. I remembered what Divan said, and now was my moment to sell myself and be confident even if I didn't feel it.

"Well...My name is Christina, by the way. I'm from Birmingham and I was just here visiting. Really just visiting to see you." I said hoping to not come off as flirty but flattering rather.

"Oh really? How nice of you to visit. Glad to meet you Christina, thank you for being a fan."
"Actually, In addition to being a fan, I'm a newsperson. I work with Birmingham's ZWAP and I was wondering..."
Before I could finish he cut me off.
"Stop the car!" Immediately the car came to a dead stop.
"So you're a reporter? You did that just to stop me and get a story? Goddamn reporters will do anything for a story!" he said in an angry tone.

"No, you've got it all wrong I didn't fake that...I fell, I didn't see the hole..."
"Save it for your headlines, get out now"

Just when I thought my luck couldn't get any better, it made a complete 360. I didn't want to argue or make him more upset. I was embarrassed, my face was hot, I didn't even look at Croix or Tommy, I was shamed. I grabbed all of my items including my shoes and opened the door, stepping out on to the warm, rough ground. It was actually kind of flattering that he thought a tabloid would send me out to play damsel in distress. I shut the door and limped away slowly. My foot hurt like hell and I wanted to cry again, but couldn't even find the energy. I wasn't sure if I should go back for my car or keep walking to the hotel. I wasn't very far from either of them. I sat on a bench near the bus stop and I just wanted to give up on everything. I didn't want to cry but I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I watched the cars speed by me. I just wanted to be back in Montana, wrapped in my mom's arms once again, this life of dreaming was not what I expected.

A few minutes passed by before a black car pulled up. It was fancy and the windows were tinted dark so I couldn't see inside. The passenger's side window rolled down and I could see Croix in the driver's seat.

"Look I'm sorry about what happened, let me give you a ride to your hotel. Bryan has a thing about reporters, he didn't mean to be so harsh."

I should've resisted, I should've been melodramatic like in the movies, but I was thankful he was there and I wasn't going to put my pride ahead of common sense. I stood up and limped to the car, before I could get to the door, he jumped out and opened the door for me, helping me in. I didn't want to talk, I just wanted to get to the hotel and go home and forget about the night. As he drove, he tried to make small talk but I wasn't there, I was back in Birmingham packing up my things in my office, giving the keys to my apartment back to the manager, and catching a flight back to my hometown. I broke down in the car, crying uncontrollably.

Croix stopped talking and the car stopped running. My face was buried in my hands, I couldn't see anything, he could've kidnapped me and I would have no clue. After a few minutes of silence, I moved my hands away and could see the lights from the hotel's parking lot. I looked over at Croix and he was just looking at me, he seemed scared and unsure about what to do. I looked at the clock on his car radio, it was 2 AM.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so tired...I just want to go home. Tonight was such a waste."

Croix didn't respond.

"Thank you for coming back to get me. I can't re-pay you for what you've done for me, but thank you again."
"I don't think tonight was a waste. You had an adventure although it wasn't what you wanted. You met some people, had some fun a long the way. It wasn't a total waste, try to look on the bright side."
"I've grown up, there's no bright side in this life."

I opened the car door and attempted to get out, but my ankle wasn't allowing it. Croix came around to my side and helped me out of the car and to the door. We took the elevator up to the fourth floor, room 423 was mine. I opened it with the key card and he helped me on to the bed. I felt awkward having him help me, he was tall but thin, much thinner than me but he was strong, I felt comfortable enough to lean on him. I figured he was helping me because he felt pity for me, I was a sad case afterall. I thanked him again but he wasn't done yet.

He took my key card and ice bucket and disappeared. Once he returned he filled a bag with ice and put my ankle on a couple pillows. He wrapped the bag in a couple towels and strategically placed it on my swollen ankle.

"You should be fine until the morning, hopefully the swelling will be gone soon. Just stay off of it. I'm getting your car towed over from the club, and paying for your stay for a couple days. My professional opinion is that you should stay off it for at least 2 days."

"Well what qualifies you to be a professional? You could just be a friend of Bryan's that he gave a job to. I know how that goes."

He laughed, "We are friends and have been since high school but I have my Bachelor's in Kinesiology, I'm certified with the National Athletic Trainer's Association, and I've been in this business for over 5 years. Am I qualified enough?"

"I suppose so. But Bryan retired from basketball a couple years ago, why are you still a part of his entourage?"

"Like I said we've been friends for a while and Atlanta is my hometown. Bryan has a home here and I help him train and condition during the off season. He conditions even if he's not playing, fitness freak if there ever was one."

I nodded only partially intrigued but mostly exhausted.  "I am so tired. It's been a while since I've been up so late. I don't get out that much"

"Same here. Get some rest, and stay off that ankle. You have room service, use it," He said sternly.

I watched him head to the door and I waved goodbye. I wasn't sure if I'd see him again, but I definitely wouldn't mind if I did. I felt comfortable with him and not once did I worry about how I looked or how he might've viewed me. I'm pretty sure I looked a mess after the club, the fall, and the tears I was positive I looked quite awful but I didn't care. Before I could analyze him more, I drifted off into a peaceful slumber, I felt light on my feet for the first time all night.

December 24, 2014

Breaking A Life Story (Part IV)



Breaking A Life Story (Part I)
Breaking A Life Story (Part II)
Breaking A Life Story (Part III)
Breaking A Life Story (Part V)

Part IV --

After a 2 hour drive, there I was in Atlanta. I was anxious but I was more nervous than anything. I arrived at the hotel at about 8:30 AM and couldn't wait until the light turned to dark.


I loved hotels, they're always so much more cozy than your own room, at least in my opinion. After checking in and going up to my room, I trekked downstairs for the free breakfast. Free food is everyone's weakness isn't it?


The breakfast smorgasbord was radiant as was the dining area. There were bread baskets full of bagels, baguettes, croissants, and biscuits. Next to them were beautiful fruit tray arrangements. Then there were cereals, coffee, juices, and pastries, I was in heaven! I The tables were dark cherry oak, and the chairs were elegantly upholstered with an ivory silk fabric. I almost felt under dressed but then again at $199 per night, the grandeur was much appreciated. I went over to the serving table and began my raid. There weren't that many people around, so I felt comfortable to fill my plate with goodies. I sat at a small table against the wall, directly in front of the TV.


My family grew up watching TV at breakfast, there was a TV in our kitchen so we could eat together but still watch TV. I think that's mostly why it's been my dream to be a news anchor. I grew up watching the women on TV with their big curly permed hair, floral shoulder-padded dress, and red lipstick in admiration (the 90's, of course). They came into my home every morning, like a family member. I wanted to be that woman (minus the permed hair and shoulder pads) that everyone looked forward to seeing on their TV screen.


The TV was on some local news station, and the volume was loud enough for me to hear but not daunting. "Coming up next, sports with Chip Andrews right after a short break!" she said. I turned away from the TV and sent a text to Jazz telling her that I had made it to Atlanta safely. I started to eat and the food was divine. The fruit were fresh, the biscuits were buttery and still warm, and the cranberry juice had the perfectly complicated blend of sweetness and tartness. I wondered if they served free dinner, too? After I finished my breakfast, I headed back to the hotel for a nap and some TV, I didn't feel like doing much else, I was much too anxious.

Funny thing about mirrors, they never reflect what you want them to. Maybe it's not the mirror's fault, after all it's only a reflection of perception. I stood there in mirror and I didn't think I looked as captivating as I need to. My curly hair was nice and defined and for once not frizzy, so it wasn't a complete bust. Bryan was a basketball star, he saw beautiful, exotic looking women with $500 hair weave perfection, my curls would never compare. I didn't have time to go shopping since I lounged around until 8 PM, most of the shops that catered to my size were probably closed.

I shut my eyes and said a prayer. God please grant me this opportunity. I know I ask for a lot and I know my life is dictated by your will, and I am so thankful for what you have placed in my life thus far, even if this isn't in the cards, thank you. Amen. I opened my eyes and smiled, I felt at peace, I even seemed to look better. I made my way out the door with my phone, keys, and clutch in hand, feeling more confident by the minute.

Atlanta was a beautiful city, driving down Marietta St., I saw a city I had only seen on TV. It was obvious that the night life in Atlanta was bustling. I saw crowds of people walking down the sidewalk dressed in club attire. According to them, I was under dressed. I arrived at the club 10 minutes after leaving my hotel, which was not too far from the club. Not to my surprise, the line to get in the club wrapped around the building. As I drove by the line I saw some of the shortest, most revealing attire I'd ever seen in real life. I felt old and frumpy compared to the girls that I saw. I got out of my car with all of my supplies in hand, and headed to the end of the line. Heels never really bothered me, until I had to wait in line for over 2 hours. I didn't know anyone but everyone else in line seemed to. The group in front of me were a lively group of guys. They smiled and joked the whole time, while I felt and looked nervous. I began to grow intimidated.

"Girl what are you worried about? It's a Saturday night and the night is young sweetie!"
I smiled, he had a unique voice, "Well I am kind of nervous. I'm not from here and I'm only here for one thing."
"We're all here for one thing, to get some di--"
"No..No that's not what I meant. I'm a reporter from Birmingham and I'm here to meet Bryan!" I was surprised that this guy was so...Open.
"Birmingham?! Bay-bay what are you doing in these parts? Atlanta is not a place for someone like you. This is for the professionals." His three friends roared with laughter..
"I suppose so, but I need this. My job, my life is dependent upon this. It's the only lead I have."
"First of all, you're going to have to lose that pitiful attitude. You don't need anything in life except food, air, and water, everything else is a luxury."
"Preach!" said one of his friends.
"This isn't the only lead you have, it's the only one you know. Your life doesn't depend on anything except that blood running through your veins. If I have learned one thing in this life is that you gotta have confidence to get what you want. Whether it be a job, a man, a car, a house, anything. I can't tell you the many times I've walked in to the Honda dealership with a 320 point credit score, three delinquent credit cards, and two repossessions and acted like I had the credit score of Bill Gates. Did I get a car? Not immediately, but I did..."

"...With a $750 a month car note!" Chimed in one of the other guys.

"Hush puppy...See, it's supply and demand. What I have is not too common, and truth be told it's in demand and selling like Jordan's on a Saturday. Once you have confidence everything else falls into place."

I had never had such a powerful lecture, especially not outside of a club but he was right. I smiled "Thank you...I believe you're right."

"Yes honey, I am right. My name is Divan by the way. I'm the diva of this here sorry group." he said eyeing his friends. They retorted by rolling their eyes and snapping their fingers at him.
"I'm Christina...So nice to meet you..." I was genuinely glad I had met him, strange how the right people come into your life at the exactly right moment.

Before we could finish our conversation, the doorman said ten more people were allowed in, finally I was able to get inside and hopefully meet Bryan. My feet were literally killing me, I looked down and they were red and slightly swollen. I started walking on my tip toes to relieve the pressure. The place was absolutely packed and it was hard to see with the lack of lighting and the numerous bodies. I dashed for the bar when I saw some open seats. My screaming feet thanked me as I took a seat and looked around for any sign of Bryan. I was expecting maybe a huge crowd would be gathered around him. Once the bartender came to take my order I asked her about him. I had to scream over the pulsating music.

"He's gone...He left about 20 minutes ago...Would you like our drink of the night? Atomic Wine!" she said enthusiastically. I shook my head no, I was defeated.


December 19, 2014

Hot Chocolate with Hershey's Chocolate Syrup


I call this 'Break Room Hot Chocolate'. Have you ever been at work craving something but it's unavailable? It's right after lunch, you're filled with re-heated leftovers but you just need a little something more to coast you through the day. Well today, that thing for me was hot chocolate.

If you've ever scoured your office's break room, you may notice there are lots of resources for creativity. Left over ketchup, salt, pepper, sugar, and creamer packets are perfect mediums for food creativity.  It's even better if your office has coffee supplies available, which is how I came up with this concoction. Now if you're able to run out to the store, by all means do so, I don't intend this to be a substitution but an alternative, if you will. Especially for those of us who either can't leave the building or would rather not risk losing their parking space for a temporary fix (although sometimes it's worth it).

An important thing to know about food creativity: There are no 'real' instructions. In a cookbook there are specific instructions on how much to put in a dish because this stuff has been tested and tweaked numerous times in order to create the best tasting dish according to other people. When you use a cookbook/recipe you don't truly know if you'll like it, our palates differ. With food creativity, you're the taste tester so feel free to tweak it as neccessary. I came up with this recipe purely by experimentation and it does need some adjustments, but I'll make them as I go along.

Break Room Hot Chocolate:
*Note: I used a 16 oz. cup. If you have powdered milk, that would be better than creamer!

2 and 1/2 tablespoons of Chocolate Syrup (I used Hershey's)
1-2 tablespoon of coffee creamer (about 5-9 packets if you're using little packets)
1 tablespoons of sugar
1/2 teaspoon of salt
Hot Water (Not from the tap, boiling hot from a tea kettle, coffee pot, or water dispenser with a 'hot' option)

Pour the syrup, creamer, salt and sugar into your cup. Mix it around a little before adding the hot water. Add the hot water and stir until well mixed. If it is too 'watery tasting', add more creamer not syrup! The creamer will thicken it, while the syrup will not (learned that the hard way).

Also, if you have access to heat up some milk, use it! The creamer and water are substitutions because most break rooms aren't full kitchens and/or milk is not readily available. If you are able to use hot milk, eliminate the creamer and water. Or maybe you're at home and want to try this recipe!

That's it! I hope you guys enjoy being creative with your food! :)

December 6, 2014

How to Deal with Mormon Missionaries



I saw this video on Facebook months ago [should show up above, if not click this link], but it has since reappeared on my newsfeed. I'll come right out and say that I am not a fan. It's not a win for the black guy, it was quite frankly rude and unnecessary. I'm writing this post because I have been seeing a lot of social media stuff related to Mormon missionaries, and most of the things I've seen are not positive.

In case you don't know what Mormon missionaries are, let me briefly explain. First and foremost Mormons are Christians, as they represent the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Missionaries are people who travel to preach the teachings of their respective religion, they don't have to be Christian, but in America most of them are. Mormons are allowed to go on missions once they turn 18 years old, which is quite young. For many young Mormons it marks the beginning of adulthood and the beginning of an enlightening spiritual trip.

There are millions of Mormons across the world, therefore they can come from (or be sent to) any part of world to serve their mission. Males (Elders) serve for 2 years, while females (Sisters) serve for 18 months. As I said previously, missionaries can be as young as 18 which is a huge deal, at least in my opinion. When I was 18, the thought of moving away from home scared me, even if it was to go to college and have fun. Being a missionary is a huge responsibility as well as a serious duty. The missionaries believe they have been called upon by Jesus Christ to spread his word, as well as the doctrines that their Church teaches. They go around on bicycles, by car, or on foot to discuss their faith with various people. Keep in mind, I'm not making excuses for the missionaries, but I want people to see things from their perspective. I'm not Mormon and I have never been a missionary, but I respect them for doing what they do, even if our religious beliefs differ. My religion teaches compassion, hospitality, empathy, and care for all humankind and that's why I'm writing this. Missionaries have a tough job because it's a transition from everything they're used to.

Now back to the video. The caption underneath the video says, "never judge a book by it's cover" because the person who posted the video seemed to believe that the missionaries were targeting the guy because they thought he didn't know the word of Jesus Christ. But it's obvious that that's not true. The missionaries saw the guys standing out there and simply approached them, like they would anyone. There was no one else standing out there except them, and they saw an opportunity to speak with them. Now maybe I could see that as a valid point if there were other groups of people standing outside, but from what I could see they were the only ones out there. If you have missionaries in your town, you probably see them going from door to door, or speaking to random people in the street, because that's what they do.

Next, after the missionaries start talking about scripture and the Priesthood, the man begins to talk about what he knows about scripture, sort of 'showing off' that he does in fact know the scripture as well as some history about biblical times. The missionaries seem respective, but then the guy starts to become condescending and haughty. He starts to speak really quickly, and nit-picks at what the missionaries say and it does seem to fluster the missionaries. Wouldn't anyone get flustered if someone starts attacking their every word? So after he kind of shows off he asks "Well i thought you guys were here to teach?" They were trying to, but kept getting cut down, how can you teach someone who appears to know everything?

The missionary then offers the man a pamphlet, and the guy completely rejects it because it's the 'Book of Mormon'. First of all, that was not the Book of Mormon it was a simple pamphlet. The guy seems to become more agitated, and pompous. One of the missionaries tries to sort of diffuse the situation and the guy just laughs in their face. At this point, it becomes really hard for me to continue to watch it's just so rude and I know Jesus wouldn't want any of his followers to treat people in such a way. He was being so antagonizing, and I believe the fact that the camera was on him, made him act out even more. He even accuses them of of being angry and not capable of holding an intelligent conversation. Seriously? He's the one getting angry and not even giving them a chance to speak.

The last minute or so is of the guy saying that the missionaries are lying about believing in the bible. His accusations are baseless, probably because of his own biases and presumptions about Mormons because they didn't even get to say much to him before he started attacking them. The missionaries try to depart peacefully and try to shake the man's hand even though he blatantly disrespected them, but what does he do? He doesn't want to shake their hands and even puts his hand in their faces. It was purely an act of intimidation.

There are a lot of truly sad things captured on video, and this is one of them. And this is only one instance of what missionaries deal with, I'm sure they have to deal with much worse. At the end of the day we are all people, and all people deserve respect. If he wanted to discuss the bible with them, he could've did it in a much more respectful way. If he couldn't be respectful, he could've just said he was not interested in hearing what they had to say, and I'm sure they would've moved on. I think this is a lesson for all of us on how to not treat missionaries. These are young people just getting out into the world, and no they don't know everything and they aren't perfect, embarrassing and alienating them out in public is not the way to go, and if you want to get biblical, it's not the way of Christ. Even if you aren't religious/spiritual, what would it hurt to be kind to someone who's different? Someone who doesn't believe in what you believe in? I don't understand people who can quote the bible cover to cover, but won't honor the basic tenants of being Christian. You deal with missionaries just like you would deal with anyone who deserves compassion, respect, and hospitality. I just think about them being so far from home, trying to do what they believe is right, trying to make God proud as well as their families, how could you not respect that?

December 4, 2014

Hollywood Divas Final Episode Review


Hey all, today was the final episode of the first season of Hollywood Divas. I really enjoyed this episode, it was a nice finish to a great season and revealed a lot about some of the ladies. If you've been reading my reviews, you'd know that I didn't have very much interest in the show from the start, but overtime I find myself anxiously flipping my TV to TVOne at 9 PM almost every Wednesday. I still haven't watched every episode, but I have tuned in to most of them. I will put the links to my other reviews at the bottom of this post! Now, let's get down to business...

This episode was a continuation of the last episode which dealt with the ladies actually getting down to the nitty gritty and finally recording the short film "The White Sistaz". All the ladies were on board, even Countess, who had full body liposuction only days prior to shooting the film.  Turns out, she ran into more complications than she had expected including infection and excessive oozing. Golden threw out the idea to cut Countess from production because she was not fully healed and was on heavy medication. Golden also convinced the other girls to side with her.

Countess kept saying before her surgery that she had done full lipo before and was back to work almost instantly. What she did not keep in mind is that she is older and her body has been through several changes since her last lipo which increases the chance of complications. When Countess arrived she could hardly walk and was visibly swollen. I was proud of her for pushing through and coming to film but she did not look well. But in the end she did her part (which was sexy hunny! And her makeup was on point) and saved the day. I could actually see Golden's point, but if Countess said she was fine and was medically cleared to work, why stop her? I liked the fact that Paula stood up for Countess, even though she's always been the questionable one to me, P.J. came through this time.

I think the "The White Sistaz" was a good idea, but where is it? The show was filmed months ago, and I have never heard of, nor have I seen the film. Perhaps they were keeping it under wraps until the show aired? Or maybe TVOne will have first dibs on it. Who knows. I, however, do not like the title. I don't like that it's stylized 'Sistaz'. I get that it's suppose to be ironic and maybe even misleading, but I don't really like it. I think if they wanted it to go mainstream, they should've just used 'sisters', but that's just me.

I'm not going to get into all the mess, because it's the same thing that's been going on the whole season, and it's really tiring to even type it up.Also, I still feel like a lot of the drama that happens on the show is an act. Did ya'll see the Visa promo with Elise and Golden? Smh. A part of the show that I believe is not an act is the drama between Claudia (Paula's mom), Paula, and Forrest (P's husband). So on this episode Paula brings her mom in to see what they've been working on. I feel kind of bad for Paula because she really wants her mom's approval, but her mom is not happy mainly because Forrest is not working and they have a baby to care for which is very understandable. Paula even said that her mom has always supported her dreams, she just doesn't support the fact that Forrest is now riding on her coattail. On the other hand, I don't truly feel sorry for Paula, because her mom is right. Forrest said that he believes anyone who tries to deter someone from their dream is the devil, but I completely disagree. Everyone has a dream, but a lot of us aren't in the position to fill that dream, and/or we have a lot of steps that we have to take in order to achieve that dream. Some people are blessed enough to be able to dive into their dream head first and make it work, even become rich! But we aren't all so lucky. Even when people do jump into their dream, they start from somewhere. Paula has made her start, but Forrest? No one knows him, and Paula's not that big of a heavyweight to vouch for him in a way that'll be effective. And it just seems to me that Forrest is an anchor for Paula. I believe people will trust her due to her repertoire, but the fact that she can't work without Forrest is a deal breaker and may even hinder her success. I don't want to see that happen to her, she is truly talented, but she has to wake up and smell the coffee!

I do want to get to the last 20 minutes or so of the episode, which was a great moment. All the girls came together on the beach for a celebratory gathering. Elise went off on Paula for not being professional and not communicating. Another thing I do like about Paula is that she is not the type to argue. When Elise got loud, she shut up and let her speak, and she's done that several times in the past, which is respectful. I like Elise a little more now than when the season first started. She is probably the most well known out of the group, and the most relevant one and the fact that she hung around for that low budget movie was admirable. She would always show up and was always there, which shows a lot about her work ethic. She's still not in my faves, but she's just okay in my book.

Elise brings up the communication issue with Paula, the fact that she didn't communicate with the staff nor with the cast members was unprofessional according to Elise. Paula says she has trouble communicating with men (and having relationships with men) because her father died when she was 3 and she never had a male figure in her life. Hold the presses, this explains A LOT. I can now finally see why Paula is having this issue with Forrest. Girls who don't grow up with a positive male figure in their life usually need lots of attention from men, whether it's negative or positive. I'm not saying all, but not having a positive male figure in a child's life is sometimes quite detrimental.

As the emotions continue to pour, Countess tells the girls about her problems with self-esteem, which Golden retorts with "We all have our stuff Countess!" and laments about the fact that her mother is very fair skinned while she is dark skinned. I made a quip about Golden's skin tone being similar to Sammy Sosa's (who famously bleached his skin to the Gawds) on one of my previous posts. If you look at Golden when she was on Girlfriends to now, and compare, there's an obvious difference. Even on tonight's episode there was a scene where she looked so much lighter it was scary. Finally, we get down to another root, Golden has been in a situation where she felt bad for being brown skinned. She said she didn't feel attractive because she wasn't light skinned, and that's something very relatable. I feel bad for making a joke about her skin tone, but now that I know that there's an underlying issue, I truly apologize. Golden kept telling Countess that she's beautiful and doesn't need to change, who's telling her the same? I hope someone is, because she is a beautiful brown skinned woman, the lightening is making her look gaunt. I really hope she sees the beauty in herself and her color, especially for her daughter's sake. Being dark skinned, there always seems to be a social issue amongst blacks in regards to skin color, which is extremely sad. I can truly say that I've never wanted to be light skinned, but at certain times in my life I envied people who were light skinned, because they were always seemed to be considered 'prettier'. I believe Golden really cares for Countess a lot, it's really obvious that she does. She said she sees a part of Countess in her, and I see it too.

The real tear jerker came at the end when Countess talked about her abortion. In a previous episode she talked about how she handled having an abortion on her own. By "on her own" I thought she meant she went to the abortion clinic by herself. Nope, Countess literally conducted her own abortion by taking various medications. I can tell she's truly in pain from the abortion, those tears cannot be faked.  At the end, I was in tears. She said she wanted to tell her story to be an inspiration to someone, and she has succeeded because she's inspired me. She's inspired me to push, to not give up even through the pain and tears. And even if you're self esteem is low your voice is high and worthy.

On a lighter note: I think Shar Jackson should be a cast member on Hollywood Divas. I'd really like to know how those play dates are going between her and Britney Spears' kids, which are her children's half brothers (via Kevin Federline). I really like whenever she makes a guest appearance on the show.

The reunion special (part one) is next Wednesday, December 11th, I'll be sure to tune in and maybe post a review. I don't understand why they really need two reunions! Anywho...That's the day of my last final exam, I might be out cold by 9PM! Until then check out my previous reviews AND my other posts! Thanks for reading! PLEASE SHARE WITH YOUR FELLOW DIVA FANS!! 

Hollywood Divas Ep. 1 Review
Hollywood Divas Ep. 3 Review
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Being: An English Major (Get to Know Me a Little!)
What do you do when you have friends more attractive than you?