January 29, 2015

I'm Against Interracial Relationships


Grabbed your attention with that title, eh? This isn't going to be some long drawn out, overly explained piece, I'll try to get straight to the point.

Over the past few years interracial relationships have been on the rise, there are more interracial couples today than ever before. Miscegenation is the proper term for it, which means the mixing of races through marriage or cohabitation. What was once viewed by society as deviant is almost socially accepted today. I say almost because of course there are still oppositions and Alabama was the last state to abolish their anti-miscegenation laws only 15 short years ago, but I digress. There are even Facebook groups, Instagram pages, and dating sites specifically featuring and catering to interracial couples. Take that Jim Crow.  I created a post several months ago (*Click here to read it*) talking about how I wanted an interracial relationship and thinking about it, now that I'm older and wiser, I really don't want an interracial relationship. I want something more.

In my opinion, interracial relationships have become more about the color than the actual person. I notice this with younger couples, especially teenagers and 20-somethings. I heard someone make the comment that they wanted 'mixed babies' because 'they always turn out cute'. That's not always the case, beautiful children come in all shades. A couple months ago I heard this black woman on the phone telling the person on the other end "Yeah, I need a white man, I'm tired of working". I've also heard/read comments from whites saying that they date people of color because they love brown skin and find it exotic. I know that's probably been the case since the beginning of interracial dating, but isn't it time that we mature from that notion?

I remember when I first realized I was attracted to non-black guys, I pretty much stopped looking at black guys completely. I know, stupid right? I was young, forgive me. I'd never approached any of them (black, white, yellow, or green), I just thought they were nice to look at. Shortly after, I came to the realization that I was being rather...prejudice and quite stupid by only paying attention to men who weren't black. What I didn't know then is that I found non-black guys interesting not because of their skin color but because they were different, they experienced life differently, listened to different music, had different customs, I was curious about their culture.

When I say I'm against interracial relationships, I say that because I feel that the term 'interracial' places primary value on the color of a person. In my opinion it says 'I like this person because she's white' I'm for inter-cultural relationships, because I'm a natrally curious person, it would be so interesting to be with a person who's from a different culture than I am. I like to explore and find out new things, I want someone who can teach me and I can teach them. I think it's beautiful when you can learn from each other, I think it can keep things fresh. Inter-cultural isn't about race, it's about culture and customs. If I met a man from Ghana I'd be swooning or perhaps a man from India, or hell even a man from New England is a nice culture change. I've always felt like a different person, I don't like sticking with the usual, I like being exposed to different things and cultures, I don't care what color you are.

I'm not against interracial marriages/relationships, but I am against the term itself. Unless you're specifically marrying someone solely on their skin color, I don't think it's accurate. I think most people would agree that they enjoy being exposed to someone from a different background, whether they are the same skin color or not.

4 comments:

  1. Quite interesting blog. interracial dating site is not different than any other dating, or races are also not different. We need to be open about it.

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