January 20, 2015

My WORST Date Ever

A couple years ago, I decided to try the online dating thing and a couple years ago is when I figured out that online dating is not for me. So, I met the guy online and after a couple exchanged emails and pictures, he asked for my number and I granted his wish. Within a few minutes we were on the phone getting to know each other better. We didn't talk for too long, 30 minutes, maybe. Before we ended the call, he asked me out and I agreed. Initially I thought, hey this is moving pretty fast. In a matter of hours we went from casual introductions online, a phone call, then to going on a date the next day. I truly thought he wanted to go out sometime during the upcoming weekend, but when he said 'tomorrow at 7' I was a bit surprised.

It was the summer and I was on break from school, so I had a lot of free time and really nothing to do so I agreed to go out with him on the following day. I remember I wore this pretty lavender colored shirt and dark blue jeans. I had recently had my hair done so it was bouncy and straightened and I put on a matching lavender colored hair bow to adorn my hair, I thought I looked pretty cute and I hoped my cuteness would hide the fact that I was nervous as hell. I'm always apprehensive about any situation where I'm being judged (e.g. first dates, interviews, first days of class). On first dates, we judge the person we're with to see if they're someone we want to have a relationship with. Some people are turned off by the smallest infraction which can lead to awkwardness. I hate awkwardness but I always promise to be myself because I am who I am. Lots of people try to conform to what their date is interested in, instead of who they really are. No doubt, I want to portray the best of me, but I don't want to portray anything false.

We decided we would go out to dinner, so we'd have a chance to talk and enjoy some good food. He said he had a good place in mind and was in the mood for sushi. I told him I had never had sushi before and that made him excited because he said he was a 'sushi connoisseur'. He recommended this placed called Geisha, and I told him that was fine as long as he helped me order something palatable. The restaurant was about a 30 minute drive from my house and in a different parish (or county). During the drive I just became increasingly nervous, several times during the trip I wanted to turn around and call him with some lame excuse. What if he sees me and isn't interested? What if my pictures look better than the real me? As I got closer I realized, if he doesn't like me so what? What if I don't like him? What if his pictures look better than the real him? I think a lot of times when we go into situations where we're being judged, we're worried about how the people 'judging' will perceive us. But in any of these situations not only are we being judged but we're supposed to be judging them as well. When going on a job interview, they're looking for the right candidate, but also you're looking for the right employer, because even if you are the right candidate, the place may not be right for you. Of course, this would be in an ideal job market where jobs were in abundance, but since jobs are few and far between we take what we can get. That same idea shouldn't be applied to dating, as the options are endless, settling will only make you miserable. Back to the date...

I arrived at Geisha and I sat in my car for 10 minutes, I looked around for his car but I didn't see it so I sent him a text asking if he was there already, and he was. I got out of the car and walked toward the door. I was parked quite a bit away from the restaurant because the parking lot was pretty packed. I noticed the guy at the door waiting and I thought it was him but I wasn't too sure. I didn't just walk to the door, I strutted, I felt good, I looked good. As I got closer I realized it was him, and boy did I feel over dressed. He had on an old t-shirt, old shorts, and some old Crocs. He was cute and seemed nice once I got to the door and shook his hand (I'm not a hugger). He looked so nervous, like almost shaking, he could barely talk. We had something in common! We went inside, got a table, and started looking over the menu. As I said previously, I told him I had never had sushi in my life so of course I had no clue what to order. Secondly, the food was a bit pricey and I figured that I would be paying for my own, so I didn't want to order something too extravagant. I asked 'sushi connoisseur' for recommendations and he couldn't really tell me anything! He said he had only been there twice and could only vouch for what he had ordered before. If you're a 'sushi connoisseur' you'd have some recommendation or some idea about what would taste palatable. I decided to order a New Orleans roll, which seemed close enough to what I knew with a bit of Asian flair.

As we were waiting for our food, we started to talk and immediately he goes off to the far left. He starts talking about how he needs a mom for his son because his son's mom is a swinger. Say what? Run that back again, please? On his online ad he did state that he had a young son and that he and his ex were sharing custody, and I suppose I was ok with that. He goes on about how his wife would bring in different couples for sex, because she was a swinger. He said he was so uncomfortable, that he would often stand outside the bedroom and wait for her to finish. At this point, I'm just sipping my water and thinking about getting my food, eating, and leaving. I was hoping he'd pay, so at least I'd get a free meal. When the food comes out, both of the rolls (his shrimp roll and my New Orleans role) are one plate. I kept looking around thinking the server would bring out another plate but he didn't. I didn't know this guy and I had no interest in sharing a plate with him after hearing about his sexual encounters. I guess the server thought we were 'together'. I should've asked for another plate but I didn't. I started to eat my roll and he kept talking, food particles flying everywhere, I could've died. I kept eating and praying that I wouldn't throw up, God is always on time.

So we finish eating just as the place is closing, it's a little after 9. We walk outside and to my surprise the once full parking lot is almost empty. I'm so anxious to leave, but he wants to linger. He talks about how he wants a girl that's not afraid to get dirty and go mud riding. He wants a girl that knows how to do her own things like changing her own tires and oil. I kept nodding just thinking that this date is going further downhill by the minute. He kept talking about what he wanted, but what about what I wanted? He asked me at the beginning of the date what I was looking for, then the rest of the night he continued on about what he wanted and needed. Thankfully he did pay so I did at least get a free meal. Thinking back on it, I should've ordered a coke instead of water. After we finished talking about what he wanted, it was close to ten and including my car and his there were about 5 cars left in the lot. I didn't feel in danger or anything but I didn't really want to be alone with him after dark in an almost empty parking lot. I told him I had a good time and that we'd have to do it again, little white lies never hurt anyone, right? As I said before, I'm not a hugger and what he did next shocked me.

I was hoping we'd depart with a handshake, just as we did when we first met but nope. He decides to grab me and hug me. Literally, he grabbed me, I'm a big girl that's not an easy feat! It was awkward, because I couldn't really move my arms so I couldn't really hug him back, even out of courtesy. It definitely caught me off guard and I was slightly grossed out as he kissed me...On the cheek. The way he grabbed me was just rough and weird and awkward it did make me feel uncomfortable. I said goodnight hoping that finally I could get to my car and go home. He told me before that he likes racing and asked me if I wanted to race him, my car against his. I rolled my eyes until I was dizzy thinking what are we 12 years old? I gracefully declined, but he persisted, I almost had to yell HELL NO I'M NOT GOING TO RACE YOU WEIRDO. Ok, I didn't say all that, but I did say no repeatedly. I got in my car and waited for him to leave, because I didn't want him to follow me or anything. As I'm sitting in my car, pretending to text someone, he pulls up beside me raising up his engine still wanting to challenge me. Finally, after the umpteenth NO, he drove off.

That date was the weirdest date ever. I guess I did have some fun, trying sushi for the first time, which wasn't bad at all and having someone else foot the bill for once was fun.I'm glad he revealed his crazy early on instead of hiding it and revealing later on. From his shyness at the beginning, then lying about being a sushi expert, to him telling me about his son needing a mom, to him partaking in swinging, to his awkward hug, and in the end wanting to have a car race, I was just slightly in awe about how the date went. I guess maybe he felt comfortable with me? I suppose that's flattering. No he didn't try to get the server's number, and was mostly respectful but this one took the cake as being the worst of the worst.


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